This is my user page. Nothing to see here. Absolutely nothing. Well, at least nothing of value. I suppose there are these sentences here, but they don't contribute anything useful. Unless you count entertainment. Well, actually no. Nobody has a sense of humor idiotic enough to continue reading this... wait... no, whoever's reading this does I guess. In other words, you. I mean, unless you skipped down here. A lot of people do that these days. I should probably stop now. Of course, you might be reading this out of boredom, and you don't have anything useful to do yourself. But more likely you're supposed to be studying and you don't feel like it. I know how it feels. But I don't care about your feelings, so go do your homework or finish your science project. Well, that would imply that I care about your academic success and what job you get or have, which I don't. Either way you need to stop reading. I mean, you don't need to, but, you should. Well it really doesn't matter to be honest. If you are still reading this, well then good for you. If you skipped down to this point, then please explain why in the talk page. I mean, I understand reading this whole thing out of boredom, but, like, why skip down, if it's even more pointless? Although, posting why you skipped down in the talk page is pretty pointless to... but who cares? I'm still writing this, which is also pointless. I don't see why I should stop by now anyway. But if it's entirely pointless, then why should I continue? Although this page has the same purpose as of the pointless paradox, its point being to be pointless, depriving it of its point, canceling out its original point, and thus making it pointless. Well, maybe this page isn't that pointless. Its purpose is partially to relieve boredom and or to entertain. However, it doesn't seem to provide much entertainment to me, much less boredom relief. But maybe it is doing that for you. If so, you might as well keep reading. Or might as well stop. I honestly don't know how long this will be. But after I finish, I will know how long this is, because it would be present tense, and you are reading it from the perspective of past tense me. Maybe this does provide even me entertainment value. But not really. Because I'm just writing this to entertain you, <insert name here>, right? Maybe. I don't know at this point. The jokes are not even good, and this set of words are not even supposed to apply to just you. There are, in fact, no jokes really. Just words. Meaningless words when taken out of context. And still in this context. If something's purpose is to do something to or with something pointless, does it really have a point? Saying it does is like saying human life's point is to take over the universe. The meaning of life is to make more of it, truly. But is there a point? No. There isn't. Wait, does that mean you should make the most of it, or make the least of it? Both sides have equally good arguments. I mean I am writing this in present tense, so I could look back and rewrite it in present tense in past tense, or use past tense writing in the present. If you are future me, then please tell me how I turned out.
What kind of idiot was I? Did you actually expect a future version of yourself to respond after travelling back in time? Well lucky for you that actually did happen.
Don't be ridiculous. You're just another random user writing on my user page. I could remove it but now that there's a conversation here at least there's some entertainment for me.
Go ahead, look at the edit history. It's your own account.
Well in that case, you're just a hacker who somehow got into my account on uncyclopedia. I don't see why you'd want to do that, unless you were somebody I knew back in middle school. I do remember I made a lot of enemies...
I am somebody you knew. I was you. And you didn't make that many enemies. I can only think of two people who might've known how to do that and wanted to.
Hack into your account.
Well you're one of them, apparently.
No, I'm you. Stop being so sceptical.
I'm not. It's just literally impossible to do that.
Ironically enough, I/you went through my/your whole life believing that, and ended up inventing the first time machine anyway. At least, one that can travel to the past without creating an alternate universe or simply rewinding time. I still can't figure out how to make a time machine that can travel to the future that does create an alternate universe
Ok, say I believe you. Which I don't. Then how do you do it?
Simple. You rearrange the pattern of subatomic particles at mind numbingly fast speeds. Faster than light. Things can only be moved that quickly at incredibly small sizes. There are particles smaller than the Planck length, making things much easier.
That was just an old fantasy of mine, besides the smaller than "elementary" particles part.
Well it works!
Fine. Then how do the smaller than "elementary" particles work?
Well they're spherical for one. They are, as suspected, literal zero dimensional points, like the singularity in a black hole. There are all exactly the same, and exactly the same size in their stable forms. There is only one type of Final Particle, and the differences are based on what state they are in and how strong the energetic bonds are that hold them together. There are millions to trillions in each type of elementary particles, depending on their densities. The least dense are of course the leptons, and are used for time travel. This is how those weird quantum fluctuations happen. Hyper-unstable Final Particles group together in usually irregularly sized clumps, but that always creates another mirroring bundle of either infinite density or negative infinite density and absorb into each other creating a zero density, making them not exist anymore. As for the time machine, all of the matter in it is converted to a newly discovered type of lepton which I forgot the name of, and it instantly creates a nearly perfect clone of the time machine on the other side whilst projecting the leptons into the past by moving them faster than light and also retaining their original shape so as not to disturb the brainwaves too badly. Then the near perfect time machine clone is where the object lands and is recreated.
Heh. Nerd. Please do not leave a message at the beep. *BEEP*
I'm doing this so that I don't cause a paradox and destroy everything, you idiot.
No, I am not going to put any useful information here, not even any links to articles that I wrote or contributed too (yet at least), just a small existential crisis I had plus an argument with myself. Go find them yourself. I may eventually become a decent member of society, but not right now. Oh but there is actually one thing. I am slowly creating a web of lore that will eventually spread across Uncyc over time. It all starts with Potatoism...