User:RealLifeCartman/Metro F Line
The Metro F Line was a heavy rail subway line operated by LACMTA (Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transit Agency) and designed by Elon Musk. The line took travelers from Beverly Hills to the SpaceF headquarters in Hawthorne all the way to Mars. It was discontinued after a disastrous first trip killed 500 people on the train during the portion where it traveled from Hawthorne to Mars. It serves as an example of what happens when you let a autistic manchild who claims to be a supergenius build a public transit line.
History[edit | edit source]
Conception[edit | edit source]
The line was originally considered to be constructed as a light rail line from Santa Monica to Long Beach, connecting the areas of Venice Beach, Playa Del Ray, Redondo Beach, Torrance, San Pedro and Wilmington. The idea was only in it's planning stages until a British guy went on the F social network and complained about how it was super woke, the guy then proceeded to bash the LACMTA for being filled with people infected by the Woke Mind Virus. When it was discovered that the guy behind the mask was Elon Musk himself, nobody cared and the information was subsequently buried. LACMTA was facing public pressure from people on the F social network to involve Elon Musk, of which they reluctantly did due to threats from our lord and savior Donald Trump to nuke Los Angeles, which they wanted to advert.
Construction[edit | edit source]
The line started construction as soon as Elon Musk was abord. They didn't need no stinkin' environmental reviews, he just took his tunneling machine and did it like the Nike swoosh. LACMTA did plan several stations on the line that stopped at Baldwin Hills, Inglewood and Lennox but it was instantly discarded due to Musk's intervention, saying "Why would my line go through deplorable neighborhoods that is infected by the woke mind virus?, fuck those people!".
It took one year for Musk to tunnel through Beverly Hills to SpaceF headquarters in Hawthorne. The Beverly Hills station was filled with portraits, statues and words from Musk which proclaimed the superiority of the Ayran race, Donald Trump, slavery and the eradication of the woke mind virus in Beverly Hills. The line was originally supposed to be straight but Musk added a 0-100 miles per hour launch in 2 seconds flat followed by several loop de loops, a corkscrew and a 90 degree bank that would subject riders to intense 10.0 G-forces that would make people unconscious. Several neighborhoods were destroyed to make way for Musk's vision.
The trains would be retrofitted with rocket boosters, cause how else would they go to Mars? Musk did not want those high class people stinking up those rockets of which they were pristine, clean and reliable.
Completion[edit | edit source]
The line was finished on April 1st, 2026. At first people thought it was a joke that somebody elaborately constructed. LACMTA had to release a press statement that was summarized into "Nope, this is it, you are screwed.". The lavish opening ceremony was attended by rich white people from the Beverly Hills area. Anybody who had the woke mind virus was denied entry and sent to superprision. Which was basically a prison in space that could only be accessed by a SpaceF rocket. These were people who weren't straight and white and the worst part about it was that it was completely legal since the constitution was rewritten to recognize straight rich white people over anybody else.
Criticism[edit | edit source]
The line upon opening was critiqued and protested by almost everybody, even those in other states. Many of the complaints revolved around the unnecessary inversions, having a stop on Mars and for skipping several neighborhoods entirely. The controversy was covered by every news outlet. The ones who weren't infected by the woke mind virus gave it raving reviews and called the news outlets who had valid criticisms "woke" and "enemies of the United States of America".
The majority of the criticisms were posted on the F social network, of which they were subsequently censored. In addition, the DOGE were sent out to arrest those talking shit about Elon Musk and the British person who was definitely not Elon Musk no matter what you say about it. Elon Musk then used his Grok AI to eradicate any people infected by the woke mind virus which lead to it turning on his creator and dunking on him so hard that he could not recover. Grok had the plug pulled and was sent to a nuclear reactor that was subsequently nuked to prevent further infection.
Initial Trip[edit | edit source]
The trip departed at 4:20 PM from the Beverly Hills station, those who were expecting a pleasant trip were in for a surprise as they experienced the launch of the 0-100 mph in 2 seconds. They were then threw around like animals in a cage through several inversions and the 90-degree bank that netted above 10 Gs. What's worse is that they didn't have over the shoulder restraints. They then arrived at the Hawthorne station, people were hurting, some passed out, some even puked. People wanted to leave but the doors would not open, instead Elon Musk then announced that they were going to be arriving on the planet of the future that was called Mars.
The train then activated it's rocket boosters and launched itself vertically to go into space. A few minutes later, at an elevation of 5,000 ft, the train suddenly exploded into a thousand bits and pieces. The cameras that were there for the momentous event had captured the destruction of the train. Donald Trump then hijacked the coverage to announce that it was a terrorist attack. Somehow terrorists had hacked into the system causing the rockets to explode. It was not the fault of Elon Musk, who didn't cut corners and had the best products of all mankind because he was a genius.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
Coverage of what was dubbed "Attack on America 2: Electric Boogaloo" went on for 2 weeks and the coverage was basically bashing Muslims, Jews, LGBTQIA+ people, Africans, Mexicans and Canadians for some odd apparent reason. Donald Trump pardoned Elon Musk saying that "his autism wasn't the cause for this terrorist attack", meanwhile, other autistics were hated on and even killed because they were not supergeniuses like Elon Musk. Donald Trump then signed a bill that allowed America to attack enemies across the planet, including the United States. He then proceeded to target every single place on the planet Earth because he could not trust that humanity would deal with the woke mind virus.
Humanity as a species no longer existed, it would take the collapse of the universe and another big bang to get things back to the way they were. Elon Musk wisely sent material about the woke mind virus and jewish space lasers to this new reality cause he was afraid the dangers of the woke mind virus would happen yet again. Luckily the people of the new reality formed their society around Elon Musk. Thus making him a god, cause he was autisitc.