User:RabbiTechno/Professor Thomas Oldefart

Professor Oldefart; seen here wearing the special protective headgear, equipped with a charm effective against each type of all known gods, which he invented for use by students in his Cambridge Experimental Theology laboratory.

“Jeez, is this guy even a real professor or did he buy his doctorate for $100 off some spammers?”

~ Dr. Tim de Bunker on Prof. Thomas Oldefart

Introduction

Origins and Early Life

Born to Sir Algernon Oldefart - himself a professor - and Lady Matilda Ironsides in 1901 at the family home, Oldefartebottom House, in rural Suffolk. As an infant, Oldefart suffered a series of debilitating conditions, causing him to be bedridden for a large portion of his childhood. However, his father did not allow these periods to go to waste and used them to instruct the boy in a diverse range of subjects.

Education

The family home, 14th Century Oldefartbottom House, which was in Suffolk until it was destroyed by an explosion resulting from an anti-matter experiment conducted by Oldefart as a boy with his father in 1911.

School

As a youth, Thomas Oldefart attended Eton where he distinguished himself in the field of chemistry. His headmaster, Sir Cholmondely Prenderville-Ogthorpe, claimed that Oldefart was by far the finest boy that he had ever had the pleasure of teaching and allowed him certain privileges such as the right to polish the Master's Knob, a ceremonial walking cane used during end-of-year functions. He left the school in 1915, having attained 37 O-levels and 25 A-levels, many of them as a result of the one-on-one instruction given to the boy in Prenderville-Ogthorpe's private rooms.

University

It was while at Cambridge that Oldefart really began to make himself known as an academic. During his first year at the prestigious University he came to the attenton of the scientific establishment when he developed a new technique for synthesizing certain chemical compounds found in some plant species. He was awarded tenure in 1923, becoming the youngest ever member of the faculty, and assumed the title Professor at that point.

Career

Prof. Oldefart rapidly became known as a man who was well versed in all subjects, and was also a popular teacher on them. He was the first man ever to hold professorships in Astronomy, Archaeology, Mathematics, Medicine and Quantum Mechanics by 1927 and continued to teach these and others until the end of WW2, at which point he began to concentrate exclusively on Plant Biochemistry. However, this was merely in order to allow him to further develop a subject of his own - Recreational Pharmacology, which he began teaching to students in the late 1940s. By the mid 1950s he had single-handedly developed a second subject of his own devising - Experimental Theology - which he has taught at the University ever since.

Qualifications and Awards

Prof. Oldefart holds the World Record for being the most qualified person to have ever existed. He currently holds over 400 university degrees - some of them from widely-recognised colleges, too, not just from those with websites based in California - in degrees as diverse as AAAAAAAAA!ology to zoopraxography, along with just about anything you can think of in between. He has been awarded 179 PhDs and 37 Nobel Prizes and is also an ordained minister of the Anglican Church, a Catholic bishop and a rabbi; allowing him to call himself RabbiFatherRevDr.x179Sir Oldefart BAx250+MAx150+PhDx179MBEOBEVC if he fancies a change from his better-known and more usual name.