User:RabbiTechno/CCC

The CCC, or the Cy Clychs C'llan, is a righteous, semi-legal, God-fearing organisation whose purpose is to keep Wales - and after the expansion, all of Great Britain, France, and most of Dutchland - free of any foreign influence forever. The call for such an organisation has risen from a social need. In the words of a leading member of Cy Clychs C'llan: "Sheep farmers nowadays are forced to live and conduct business with people not of their choosing. An individual has no choice as to who they may hire or sell their sheep to. The "powers that be" in Llanafan-Fechan have forced inter-racial marriage and homo-sexuality on Wales under the guise of equal rights through affirmative action and quota marriage and coitus systems. Unchecked immigration from even as far as Llanfihangel-Nant-Melan is destroying the job and wage base in Bugeildy. Electricity and paved roads are destroying the quality of education in Aberystwyth. Billions of tax bagythels are handed out through foreign aid to communities - such as Ynys Tyfanog - that are diametrically opposed to normal Welsh values; all the while one in five sheep in Wales go to sleep hungry and unshagged every night."

CCC History

The official version

Unknown Cy Clychs C'llan members attending a meeting in Llangollen, late 19th Century. The traditional Welsh costume was modified to disguise the wearer's identity.

The Cy Clychs C'llan has been in existence since 1566, in one form or another. It was gloriously founded by veterans of the Abertillery artillery in the city of Llyn Tegid, on September 5th of that year, or ten years later, as a fraternal, paternal, and social organization. The great artillery officer, Captain Lloyd Cybhard Fynedrr, was the first Great-Grand Vizier, or national leader, in 1567. Some misinformed lunatics claim he founded the C'llan but this is obviously not true. The founders were Ynys Enlli, Adolph Hindler, Calvin C. Smythe, John C.B.K. Leicester, Rychard E. Rweed and Major Jaymes R. Crowwe.

According to the official Cy Clychs C'llan history, the fairie king of Llewellyndillich appeared to the founding fathers and brought them a golden goblet from under the mountain of Glywendinnichdydd. They drank from it a secret liquid concocted of "the holiest of ingredients that man has ever tasted." Thus, the members of the C'llan received license to forever redeem people based on the colour of their skin, thickness of lips, the slant of their eyes, hair colour, and other physical properties - all unchecked by any earthly authority. They saw themselves as the saviours of the True Christian Race, or the Grynnddillichnitty. There is no mention how the fairie king managed a pact with Christian god. It is interesting to note that the 'n fawr het chanddyn chreuau, or large hat with eyes, was invented two hundred years later - yet it has become the symbol of the C'llan.

The unofficial version

Other accounts - apparently forged - claim otherwise. The mysteriously disappeared historian Wendley Ll'ochamyn managed to unearth and bring to the public attention a badly torn manuscript from the year 1821. In the manuscript, an unnamed person from the area of D'lyct, northern Wales, tells us how he and his friends Ynys, Adolph, Calvin, John and Rychard used to have fun on Saturday evenings by playing a game they called cycc-de-nyccer. The game consisted of two stages. The first stage was to catch an unsuspecting "blackie" - in other words, anyone with a darkish skin, or from farther off than Clogh-yn-Byllocc - and tie him up. The second stage was to kick him savagely until he bled and prayed for mercy, and promised to move back to "beyond", that is, away from the area the boys held to be their territory. Since the said territory was only about five miles across, the local authorities did not see this innocent game as a problem. The same game was apparently played all over Wales, and the authorities held a similar view to it in every village.

On the Saturday evening in question, the author of the story suddenly started feeling somehow wrong during the game - as if something was missing. He did not feel the joy he formerly had felt while kicking the filthy foreigner. He grew strangely remorseful of the fact that the game was so straightforward. While he broodingly kept kicking the tied-up foe, he recalled a village pageant he had seen in the famous market of Llangollen. In the pageant, one of the comedy actors had worn a strange headpiece that covered his head and shoulders, and had mean-looking eyes painted on it. He realised that such a hat would make a great addition to a sport grown stale, and suggested to his friends they all acquire and wear similar ones from then on. The others immediately caught the idea, and in the rush of inspiration one of them - the story names Ynys - came up with the name for their little band of nyccer-cyccers. On that evening, the Cy Clychs C'llan was born. The idea spread like wildfire among the imbecilia of Wales. The organisation gained structure, rules, and principles during the following decades, when supporters flocked in and demanded to know their place in a world they felt rapidly deteriorating under the rule of llybetchyllen, or foreigners.

The Black-Faced Men of Maenclochog

The Mysterious Black Men of Maenclochog after deportation to "beyond".

One incident in the history of the C'llan is worth mentioning separately since it directly led to the downfall of Welsh economy and ruined any chances of independence as a result. September 21, 1891, in the village of Maenclochog, a young C'llan member called Geraint ap Rhys, leaving for home after a long day in the pub, spied a crowd of dark-faced men on the road. He was first flabbergasted at the audacity of the blackies, but soon sprang to action. He alarumed all the CCC members of the village - no mean number - and led them to clobber the darkies half to death. The offenders were hog-tied, gagged and marched to the docks to be deported. Someone had the wits to use the new dyllechpheen - a telephone - to call all the neighbouring villages, to warn them of a darkie invasion. During that night, tens of thousands of coal miners were mugged, killed and deported. When someone later pointed out to the self-proclaimed leaders of the White Revolution the true identity of the C'llan victims, the information was received with a shrug and a comment: "Blackies will do anything to appear white - even dye their faces with coal, as you have seen! What are you anyway - a commie symphatiser? We have your name and address, and you'd best keep that in mind."

The Cy Clychs C'llan today

With almost no foreigners now living anywhere even close to Wales, the rôle of the C'llan has changed slightly. Without specific aims, the organisation almost fell apart during the 1990's, but the members were too fanatical to forget the glorious past of mugging innocents. New rules were therefore forged for the C'llan. A statement by the present Grand-Great-Brilliant Vizier sums it up for us: "A foreigner, as we see it, is anyone who looks foreign. Also those who either speak or write a foreign language, or suffer a foreign language to be spoken even in the devilish appliances that broadcast heretic Mass Media, are suspect and due to interrogation and probable termination under our improved rule. We are proud to be the saviours of the original Welsh culture, the Wolschen'lyddich, and want the rest of the world to understand we are not to be taken lightly. Be careful not to translate this conversation into any of those accursed tongues if you want to stay hale." With the consequent steady emigration of Welsh scientists (who would be suspect to the CCC anyway), the burning of books, deportation of foreign language teachers and anyone else with any ideas outside the experience of the leading C'llan member in any given community, the level of Welsh culture is on a serious decline as seen from the outside - but it is apparent the rest of the world doesn't count.

Welsh Race-Hate Spoons

With a history dating back to the days when the Celts were Europe's dominant people, Race-Hate spoons are a traditional artifact unique to Wales that survive into the present day. Very similar to the Welsh Love Spoons which are either expertly hand-carved by young men who then pass them onto young women with whom they hope to form a romantic relationship as an indication of their esteem or can be produced by the million in Far-Eastern factories and sold to tourists, Race-Hate Spoons are hacked out of lumps of wood, set on fire and posted through the letterboxes of immigrant English families and other blackies.

Welsh Love Spoon.

Welsh Race Hate Spoon. Note how the artist appears to have hacked at the piece of wood in total frustration, without any sort of plan. This Fuck 'ch pawb - method is typical of the makers of such spoons.

In the case of a Love Spoon, there may be one or more free wooden balls encaged within the handle - the number of balls represents the number of children that the young man hoped to produce with the object of his affections. In the case of a Race-Hate Spoon, these balls will be replaced with swastikas or other racist symbols as an indication of how many further warnings to go back to their own country the recipient can expect to be given before CCC members will come to their home during the night and lynch them. This practice was adopted by the CCC during the decades following the First World War, when someone realised the spoons would not have to be well carved to get the message across.

In North-West Gwynnedd villages, there is a tradition by which an enormous Race-Hate Spoon, often three metres or more in length, is carved and erected vertically during the night upon the immigrant's lawn. This will then be set ablaze, serving as a message that cannot be ignored.

CCC in popular culture

'R Bara Enedigaeth Chan Cenedl (The Bara Brith of a Nation) is a film made in 1915 by radical director Dafydd Wynn ap Gruffydd at his studio in the mountain village of Henfynyw, Ceredigion. Controversial for its theme - ie; that Welsh supremacists are responsible for bringing law and civilisation to South Wales - and its positive portrayal of the Cy Clychs C'llan, the film is nevertheless widely recognised as a landmark in cinema history for its innovative technical and narrative elements.

Grand Red Dragon - Ffawreddog 'n Ddraig goch

Truly an image to be feared - the emblem of the Grand Red Dragon of the Cy Clychs C'llan. English tourists and immigrants would be wise to be very wary should they find themselves in areas where this symbol can be seen.

Notes from my version

This masterful oil painting by Mephisto, dating back to 1857, shows a masked figure in full Cy Clychs C'llan regalia. Some have expressed the opinion that the painting represents the Prince of Wales, but there are also doubters. The painting was curiously difficult to date, due to the expressive technique unusual to Mephisto. The buttoning of the overcoat finally provided a hint.

Patagonia - there's a region in Argentina where they speak Welsh - could possibly work in some jokes about Nazi war criminals living there, only I doubt enough people would know about it for it to be worthwhile Argentina bit could be just a side note to those who happen to know

See Also

• Sons of Glengarry Glen Ross
• Welsh Expansionalist Movement