User:R. Daneel Olivaw/Articles/Taxi Driver
Taxi drivers are a species native from crap countries. During their lifetime, a majority of them migrate to New York City, where millions of taxi drivers live but none can be found when you need them. They often exhibit an incapacity for learning the English language, displaying a very limited range of sentences including "Read the sign!" while pointing to a sign saying "I only know three words in English".
Where Are They?[edit | edit source]
Good question. One of the most debated questions is where taxi drivers are. It is a well known fact that at least a million taxi drivers are present in New York City, but only a few hundreds are witnessed at one specific point in time. There are many theories to explain this bizarre phenomenon.
Solipsist Theory[edit | edit source]
- Everything is an illusion.
- Therefore, taxi drivers are an illusion.
- Therefore, they give the illusion of being fewer than they are.
Bat Fuck Insane Theory[edit | edit source]
When you're not looking, taxi drivers open wormholes and travel to the 1337th dimension. There, they smoke cuban cigars and eat burgers until bigfoot tells them to get back to work every two hundred years.
Adaptation of That One Weird Theory Involving Electrons[edit | edit source]
There is only one taxi driver, and he is in every conceivable place he wishes to be in at the same time. But he hates us puny mortals and is in only a hundred places at the same time. Proof for this theory: Were you ever talking to a taxi driver and he/she completely changed the subject? There you have it, the taxi driver got confused about which one of the hundreds of people in his cab(s) you actually are.