User:Pasmorade/P. Diddy
Peanut Butter and Diddy, also known as P. Diddy, Diddy, Puff Daddy, Diddy Kong, or Jif, depending on how racist you are, is an American brand of peanut butter popular in the Northeast since the nineties. Made out of a patented mixture of ingredients which include lima beans and the souls of poor people, the brand was invented by Sean Combs, an up-and-coming talent director for Uptown Records. Due to copious amounts of celebrity endorsements, Sean's peanut butter has constantly charted on the Fortune 100. However, nowadays, Sean's peanut butter isn't selling that much, as most of the celebrities who supported him (The Notorious B.I.G., Mary J. Blige, and Heavy D) are either dead or are too old to be relevant. As a result, in March 2024, P. Diddy was discontinued from most grocery stores due to a raid by the Department of Homeland Security.
At its peak, P. Diddy was the largest peanut butter company in the world, sustaining itself due to an endless supply of unsuccessful rappers trying to emulated successful artists. It is widely known that the cocaine mystery ingredient in P. Diddy gave people the confidence to actually rap.[1] Regardless of its price, it still has some clout due to Sean himself assaulting several of his girlfriends in the 2000s, which was perfect for being a true gangsta/
- ↑ However, when the people who bought this butter tried to rap in a public space, they were quickly reminded that they only had the confidence to do so.