User:Optimuschris/Sandbox
Why?:You Should Give Me A Blowjob[edit | edit source]
It's that time of the month again. You're Aunt Flo has come for her routine visit and you're feeling a little cranky. Plus, you're on the fuckin' rag. Now, I understand we can't have sex right now, but that doesn't mean I don't have needs. If I don't find a way to drain my balls I think my head might just explode. That's just one of the reasons why you should give me a blowjob. I've done so many things for you lately, I really feel that I deserve it.
Reason #1[edit | edit source]
Remember yesterday morning? You were giving me some suggestions to help me improve my driving? You said "Be careful at this corner; I've seen a lot of children running out into the street here lately." Remember how you reminded me to put on my seatbelt? Remember how I didn't punch you in the mouth? That took a lot of self control. I don't know if that alone is worth a blowjob, but it's at least worth a quick handjob in the McDonalds bathroom.
Reason #2[edit | edit source]
You know those shelves you've been wanting me to hang for weeks? Well, I didn't hang them yet, but I have every intention of doing it soon. Why, just this afternoon I went to get my hammer from the toolbox but it wasn't there. I think I might have left it over at Johnny's house when we built that woodshed for his grandmother. You remember that right? It was that Sunday when you wanted to visit your mother in the hospital but I couldn't go because I was too busy building a woodshed. I promised to go visit her with you next weekend remember? Well, I totally would have went that next weekend if she hadn't died. I think that's worth a little something-something; don't you?