User:Omnicross

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“I went hard on my first, I went hard on my second, I went hard on my third, you reckon? I reckon!”

~ Haystack Mak Million

"Omnicross" AKA "Omnifluff"

Omnicross is a fictional character and professional fluffer. When he is not writing he is...

ahem, "killing that pussy?"—I'm sorry, who wrote this shit?

Omnicross is probably your father or by now your father's father. Rumor has it, he once killed a man in Reno, just eat some pie.

Seriously, this is fucking stupid. I am not reading this. I will tell you what I know about him.

History[edit | edit source]

Omnicross (also known as Omnifluff) was:

Born on a Monday, Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday,
But crawled out of his grave to write Uncyclopedia articles again.

His favorite food is ketchup, which stains his not-so-white shirts.

The Return[edit | edit source]

He hasn't written an article since 2011, before the great war. He has likely returned to bask in some twisted nostalgia-fueled delusion about the "glory days", make Oscar Wilde quotes, and rep the GRUE army. He once wrote some well-received articles and now thinks he is hot shit. If you want a list of his articles, of which there are only seven, click the link to Omnifluff above and prepare to be transported back in time.

Time Machine to 2011[edit | edit source]

It was a great time, let me show you.

Well, it wasn't all rainy days. We did kill Osama Bin Laden, so it was a wash. Oh, and we occupied Wallstreet, which led to the downfall of capitalism.


поздравляю товарищи!

Look, it was just better because I was younger and not as close to death.

Now[edit | edit source]

List of my current articles under the new username:

UnPoetia:Monkey See, Monkey Do

Next three projects to work on:

  1. Gene Wilder
  2. Mountain Lightning
  3. Marquis de Talleyrand

The Future[edit | edit source]

I don't know, probably not flying cars though. Why does every generation since the 50s think we are getting flying cars? Do they know how hard it would be to regulate that? What about crashes? You know how many fatalities there are on a two-dimensional plane, who thinks it is a good idea to add an axis?

-- Sheepicon.png