User:OliverS44
Ollieism[edit | edit source]
Ollieism is an up and coming religion, originating from a small cottage in the jewish countryside. It's followers, which consits of 5 secondary school students and one B-list celebrity, believe in the all mighty Oliver, or Ollie to his friends, disciples and the pool cleaner. Unlike those other weird and stupid religions such as Christianity, Scientology...etc, the Ollieist's God is actually real and is on this Earth. The Great Ollie is a fine and majestical sight, he is at least 3 hobbits tall but only 3/4s of a professional basketball player. People often confuse him with Shaggy Bear out of the HairBear Bunch, but his wrath is deadlier than the Horrible Holidaying Hamster of Mascalls.
As Ollieism is an up and coming religion, it's belief system is still being worked out although the all mighty is toying with ideas that Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain is actually Santa Claus but has to shave her beard daily and wears a girdle to hold in the jolly belly, and that instead of the sleigh being pulled by reindeers it is instead being pulled by a combination of Corgis and Caribbean children. He also believes that everyone should get along if they refuse they get huffed, and that child abuse is very bad...if you get caught doing it though!
The disciples of Ollieism, Ollieists (or Minions as the Great Ollie calls them), are generally people who were friends with Ollie before his ascension to Godhood by the magic of Uncyclopedia and one boring R.E lesson. Each disciple has their own role in Ollieism, there are the Chief Convertors, and the Entertainers who entertain the Great Ollie when he is either bored or mildly aroused. The 5 members of Ollieism help the Great Ollie in his fight against the Mascalls School system, filled with Jews, Aboriginals, Niggers, anti-prostitutionists, more Jews, liberals, and slackers e.g. Music Teachers. They are generally converted to one of the following; Nazis, Arabs, slave drivers, torturers and other great noble paths. Jews are slaughtered nazi style.
Like all the other religions there is a hint of hypocrisy in Ollieism, as the Great Ollie himself is an atheist and is usually grumpy and Nihilistic, most of the time at parties. Although this can be overcome if an offering of cider is made to him, just don't stand near him when does his Cider to Vomit "miracle".
Ollieism Society Hierachy[edit | edit source]
1.ChOO (Train of Ollie)
2.GOO (Semen of Ollie)
3.MOO (Cow of Ollie)
4.ArOO (Retard of Ollie) POO (Pussy of Ollie) NOO (Nigger of Ollie)
5.COO (Cunt of Ollie) YOO (Yobbo of Ollie)