Protected page

User:Ogopogo/Channel Islands

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Flag of the Channel Islands

The Channel Islands are a group of islands (the bailiwicks of Jersey and Guernsey) situated in the English Channel off the coast of Normandy, France.

As a means of increasing the islands' standard of living to make it comparable to that of Scandinavia, the civil authorities in both bailiwicks in the Channel Islands have, in collaboration with influential American advertising agencies with French clients, erected powerful television transmitters on the islands, directed towards Great Britain. Risqué French TV dramas and fashion programs (dubbed into Norman French) are being transmitted to sway the British away from their dose of British TV dramas and cricket matches and, as a result, to make them watch the advertising agencies' French clients' commercials.

With decreasing success, the BBC is retaliating by attempting to block the signals.

It is predicted that, within the next ten years, the British will all be drinking French champagne, wearing sandals, reading Elle France and again be speaking Norman French.