User:MyOwnBadSelf/Norway

Norway is a country that is run entirely by former thieves. They eventually got together and created a government for this piece of natural beauty, because they realised that they could use their stealing skills to gouge tax from the population like never before.

History

The first Norwegian inhabitants were those of the Ahrensburg culture, approximately 12,000 B.P. However, it was clear that in the beginning they weren't very smart, as despite being surrounded by stone, it apparently took them three millennia to craft stone tools (either that, or they were much smarter than we give them credit for, and made clever tricks to confuse the future archaeologists and their carbon-dating tools).

Approximately 5,000 B.P, a different culture arrived: the Corded Ware culture, so named because of their pottery, but a more accurate name would have been the 'Cow and Sheep culture', as they introduced a farming way of life to Norway. After a while, the Bronze Age entered Norway, and this was clearly the beginning of a plutocratic system in Norway, as it seemed the leader was whoever had bronze weaponry.

By the 8th century, everyone was getting bored of Norway, as there's only so much fishing you can do without depleting significantly the North Sea's stocks of halibut. So, they decided (probably at the orders of the person with bronze weaponry), that in just a few centuries, they would make the first attack on religion at Lindisfarne, have a series of corrupt kings that would begin the current line of 'thief government' and discover America in the intent of confusing students centuries from then.

Geography

Norway is quite large, and its population is clustered together somewhat, primarily due to the lack of building space in the mountains. The capital city, Oslo, is home to a large percentage of the population, mainly those who were once farmers and wanted to escape the general feeling of loneliness in the mountains - and enter a general feeling of tax.

The climate is much warmer than many would expect for its high latitude. One reason for this is that they were aware of the effects of global warming long before the rest of the world, however, did nothing as they were so intent on stealing money from their population.

Culture

Black metal was discovered when one of the Vikings was attacking a monk in Lindisfarne. He used his axe to rub against the ground, and it created a strange vibrating noise. This may also have been the origin of the slang term 'axe' to mean a guitar, although back then it was literally an axe, so we end up with a sort of folk etymology.