User:Multiliteralist/Spikety

Sporkagelic

I AM UnNews! This means that anything you do to UnNews, you do to me.

• You're not an asset to Uncyclopedia
• Wrestle frosting on a crap cake
• You mistake me for a small claims judge who would care
• Writing comedy is a technical task
• Articles should be good for the reader and not just a naughty pleasure for the writer.
• Everything you do here to call attention to yourself (and that is everything you do here) bugs me.
• Just go quietly.
• My core opinion is that you are not here to produce quality content but to manufacture honors for yourself, while mostly publishing your personal diary, and you are egregiously resistant to all advice, so that even learning how to produce quality content will be tediously slow.
• What collaboration? you write the first word, I write the rest? Then you nominate it and pat yourself on the back on your userpage?
• Your notions are supreme and any external consideration, even a Style Guide, is negligible.
• Manufactured hysteria
• the notorious c-word
• Aficionado of the female anatomy
• It is potty-mouthed crap with no purpose other than to build a crude caricature of nobody.
• I suggest that you read more articles and get the knack of writing straight encyclopedia parodies before you start experimenting with these alternate voices.
• Why don't you just bask in the satisfaction of a job well done, as I did for my first year here, rather than seek for instant fame? This is the damnedest Scout troop, where everyone puts in for merit badges before attaining the rank of Tenderfoot.

MOre

• Moreover, I don't care about an article that is a thinly veiled masturbation joke, nor to chat about masturbation with a stranger whom I assume is 14; moreover, even doing so might be illegal in this jurisdiction.
• Very well. Discomfort is a function of lubrication.
• a large dollop of Gallows Humor.
• dollop of armchair psychology
• We try to delay consumption of alcoholic beverages until one has learned how to be alive sober; likewise, one should master writing in the style of an encyclopedia article before one flaunts his creativity by breaking the rules.
• Business plan
• Career criminals of encyclopedic writing (not an actual Spikeism though)
• If you are here to disparage me in the eyes of my fellow editors... (slightly modified)
• I'm a rock! You can only please me by doing The Right Thing!
• Your puerile shenanigans fail to spark any kind of amused reaction within my particularly well-developed hypothalamus

O tempora, oh more

• A typographically ugly, illiterate, rambling, unfunny, triple-spaced mess.