User:Multiliteralist/SoS/Mars condoms/1

UnNews:Curiosity rover tests Mars soil sample; finds used condom

The Curiosity rover tested Martian soil samples for various compounds and chemicals which might indicate life had once been present on the planet. The rover determined that the first soil sample it has tested contains a used condom, estimated to be 1.2 billion years old. That the condom was used is a clear indicator of life having once been present on the red planet.

NASA scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory speculated that the once-existent life on Mars could have looked like anything. "Right now we can only tell that they had penises, maybe they were penises. We can't really be sure. We might be able to lay out some probabilities about the ethnicity of the life based on the condom's size." A waste basket was spotted only 5 feet from the condom, suggesting that life on Mars may not have been intelligent.