User:Multiliteralist/Cuntfest crossover notes

• Perv Christmer is approaching; it was deviced by these old pervs wo feel lonely through the rest of the year. A utility holiday
• Fake Christmas carols; Lewis Carroll style perhaps?
• cunt door
• I'd rather do the Festival of Cunts as a separate thing.
• you can always try but these old pervs are insistent
• "Unless we push the Festival of Cunts to autumn and have Fake Pervy Christmas in Summer." I'm imagining this conversation taking place between two gentlemen in suits in a conference room
• "Don't use that one. Use the cunt door."
• We should probably come up with a reason the Catholic church has yet to go through with this plan to blow up the sun.
• They're waiting for extraterrestrial evangelism
• How about we pick it up before the Summer solstice?
• That the catholic church own the largest telescope in the world so that the can see when aliens come so that they can convert them to Earth religion
• the telescope site will obviously be the planned spot for the nipple parade which the cunt decorators are planning to sabotage, and the cunt flashers as well
• so we'll have hysterical cuntyphobes running around screaming whille the testicle molester skulks somewhere in the background
• nipple parade canceled, cunt flashers, Catholic Church, Testicle molester, Cunt Decorators, Fake Perv Christmer, Cunt Festival
• "Farkin Christmer!"
• Everyone else calls it Pervert Christmas. And they're upset by that
• "Use the proper name dammit!"
• the first news will be a buff
• the Santa will be a spokesman for another one
• This could be like a running tradition. Every summer we write something about Perv Christmer
• so the first would be about how Perv Christmer is approaching
• it's time to buy your erection enhancing meds and sex toys and whatnots
• the next piece will probably try and play the boosterisers of Perv Christmer a bunch of child molesters and be worried about the nipple parade which later turns out to be canceled for the great Cunt Fest
• The testicle molester says "fuck it" and goes to ComiCon in costume.
• All these cunts are killing his buzz. He needs costumed virgins.
• I think someone should be voicing a wish that the Testicle Molester joined with the Cunt Fest people despite differences
• because of course - point is to get the cuntyphobes horrified for whatever reason
• there's first a seeming battle between supporters of Cuntfest and Perv Christmer
• then some secret conversations are brought to light
• it's all been a ruse to boosterise both by manufacturers of the *McAnally Cuntymints* (TM)
• Keep Christ out of Perv Christmer!
• Then we'll call it Perv X-mer; People will try to pronounce it "Kszmer"
• also Mainspace article on P.C. would be welcome
• That'll be the more religiously sensitive spelling. X and as Rated X.
• if you write on Anal Twitmas it'll be a cool sidetrack with everyone else attacking that as one man
• but I think there would be fun in attacking it on some other grounds than the anal bit
• It's as if the smut industry to a cue from Hallmark and invented a bunch of holidays.
• something about the time of year... Anal Twitmas used to be in early spring; these impostors are now trying to move our holy tradition to gain some more money; we already had an Anal Twitmas in March and nobody can keep it up at Fake Commercial Anal Twitmas

Some Sun a splode and other things

• screaming cuntyphobes, testicle molester, cunt flashers, agents of the church, Neil Young giving a "free me" concert on the roof (make a song out of My My, Hey Hey... Anal Twitmas here to stay)
• Perv Christmer dudes, a few miserable Anal Twitmas bureaucrats
• no nipples visible; I'll draw some where the vulvas are on /flagrant/ display but nipples have been censored

• we have our sources.
• someone always leaks in a large organisation like that
• we could have secret contact with the Naked Pope
• let's tell it all in some revealing press conference in August
• a huge UnNews parade where we tie it all into a nice bundle
• the press conference will have an intro with about 100 questions
• then we up and explain it as if it's clear as day
• "Didn't you really understand that...?"
• "Even an idiot should have understood that Neil Young had left a note for us on his night table"
• "We knew this all the time you dolts"
• "We had to hold this press conference because of the appalling ignorance of the general public"

Anal Twitmas related

Fagstorkle Poopface and the ULTIMATE BUTT POOP!!

• the writers of the Ultimate BUTT POOP!! news had no idea it was an old legend
• No, the news was a ruse to promote the film
• there will be a column to point that out among with some other things in the future

How about...

...these two points were appointed to the Week of Bloody Semen? There are no Anal Twitmas presents; only lists of why none were bought.

• Traditionally, Anal Twitmas gifts are purchased using tampons as currency, although some retailers have outlawed this in recent years, presumably because they take up too much space in the cash register. In lieu of tampons, those getting into the holiday spirit may use condoms or flash their genitals at the cashier.
• Pervert charities: A nasty version of the Salvation Army and a "Do They Know It's Anal Twitmas?" concert to end global horniness.