User:Mr. Soot Gremlin/Smashing!

The Currents Page

"It's harvesting season. Pick up your pitchforks. My Soot Empire will not be complete without supplies.'

Join the Cause!

---

Must be no more than 5 in. tall to join. Some restrictions apply. © 2011 by Soot Empires, LLC

THIS JUST IN:Mr. Soot Gremlin is a Smelly Bastard!

This just in! It is fresh from the paper things! Mr. Soot Gremlin is a smelly bastard, because of his long absence from Uncyclopedia. He should be ashamed. We all should ask Mr. Soot Gremlin- what has he ever done for Uncyclopedia? WHAT???? Plus, he is just simply rude. I mean, God! If the Jesus were even here, he'd be like, "What? and he would shun Mr. Soot Gremlin. Also, Buddha would be there, and he would dislike Mr. Soot Gremlin as well. Ans dpssssssss.

A Note That No One Will Read, Ever

This is a note to everyone in the world that will never be read by anyone. I'm just copying it everywhere I possibly can because I'm a fucking douchebag. And so are the people behind Uncyclopedia.

This is a note from me, Mr. Soot Gremlin. I would like to take this moment to express my deep feelings of remorse for not having edited anything on Uncyclopedia for so long. I have a few possible reasons for this extended absence from my post and duty here as a “Uncyclopedian”. 1) Perhaps I am insane. 2) I am not funny. 3) I contribute nothing to anything I encounter. But I think the real reason for my leave has been that, quite simply, I have come to hate Uncyclopedia and everything it stands for. All this bloated, useless wiki serves as is a place for pages of formulaic humor churned out effortlessly by sad, small people who think of themselves as intelligent and uniquely witty, when in fact they are simply cold empty shells of flesh and bone with one air-filled lump called a brain controlling their bodily functions. In short: fuck Uncyclopedia. And fuck all the goddamn people in charge of it. Fuck HTBFANJS. I hate it all. And I'd like to say in closing that this is not something I have been brooding over for months. Rather, I simply casually remembered my Uncyclopedia page and proceeded to write this. So, yep. Fuck all of you. I know you'll never read this, but what the fuck. I have nothing better to do anyway. --Mr.Soot Gremlin -Talk 07:29, November 24, 2012 (UTC)