User:Matt lobster/UnScripts:The Bexley Stabbing

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The tail of a teenager stabbed to death in Bexley. In the final scene, Holmes delivers his devastating conclusion.

WATSON: Damn it Holmes if this very overcoat isn't the darndest thing I've ever warn. It's luminosity is most distracting no?
Pensively Holmes pulls down on his pipe
HOLMES: Quiet Watson, my deliberation is imminent.
WATSON: Now just a minute Holmes.
Inspector Claspon looks down impatient, rapidly pushing at buttons on his mobile phones.
INSP. CLASPON:' Is this tom-fucking-foolery heading anywhere in particular Holmes?
Holmes raises the index finger of his right hand and stares intently down through the window.
HOLMES:' Stabbed with his own knife.
INSP. CLASPON: They're safety blankets - shitty ones at that.
Watson holds out his arms and looks down at his new coat.
WATSON: Such an obtrusive hue.
HOLMES: And what is more - this man knew his killer.
INSP. CLASPON: Hardly a man Holmes, he was thirteen.

INSP. CLASPON And we knew that.
HOLMES I ask you what is it you knew Inspector Claspon?
INSP. CASPON Videoed on his friends mobile phone.
HOLMES What nonsense - I say what nonsense.

Holmes breaths the air keenly

HOLMES Where was I?