User:Matt lobster/Beard

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'Beard', sometimes also referred to as 'a beard', is a construction of hair situated around the facial area.

Theory of the Beard[edit]

The ancient Greek philosophy of Sophistry came from the opposition of physis and nomos, between nature and law. That what is experienced by the senses was radically different from Being. In also rather randomly positied that the chin, 'should not necessarily be free.'

History of the Beard[edit]

Bearded Lady, cornerstone act of a circus
Louis Armstrong did not have a beard.
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Matt lobster/Beard.

The Beard originated from the Native American tribe called the Beards. Overweight Native American women tend to grow beards and the amount of facial hair is directly proportionate to their weight. Part of a female conspiracy to keep men under their control by having a common theme throughout a relationship that they are able to perpetually winge about. In other words, it allows males to have killed themselves in earlier days more easily by having no shaving equipment and many potentially dangerous scenarios that allowed the most stupid of males to eradicate themeselves in a selfish female conspiracy. c.f.: Superhero Cape

Paid in small children by a group of radical feminists, Michael Jackson, in association with the Amen, in 2,000 BC changed the human gene structure to include beard growth on the male-specific genes only. However, circuses to this day genetically modify women for hairy entertainment purposes (see illustration).

In the 1930s, Walt Disney claimed that he had invented the beard, and wouldn't let anyone else have one, not even his best friend Mickey Mouse. For a while Disney was successful in suppressing unauthorized beards, but then communists, who didn't believe in America, started overthrowing a number of small insignificant countries such as China and Russia, and letting anyone grow a beard, including children. Uncle Walt was most displeased by the communists' behaviour and asked his other best friend, Joseph McCarthy, to shoot anyone wearing a beard without his say-so.