User:Malestyr
Aye, this is Malestyr, new to uncyclopedia. Currently writing an article on Ruddocks, because I'm bored.
The Ruddock[edit | edit source]
The Ruddock is an Australian variant of the zombie. However, there are several main differences that set the Ruddock apart from the garden-variety zombie.
Diet[edit | edit source]
The Ruddock subsists on a diet consisting of civil rights, accountability, political parties and logic. They are prolific eaters, and the current presence of one in Australian Parliament has had a very noticeable effect,with it's current prey beginning to dissappear completely, most noticeable of which include the extinction of One Nationites and their monarch, Pauline Hanson
Language[edit | edit source]
The Ruddock speaks in a language which sounds remarkably like english legal terms and inflammatory rhetoric, resulting in the current lack of wild Ruddocks. Little is known about their language, and the current rarity of Ruddocks means that it is highly unlikely that we will learn much about them.
Habitat[edit | edit source]
In the wild, Ruddocks are mostly found in courtrooms and graveyards. However, the only known surviving Ruddock has been domesticated by John Howard, and currently lives in Australian Parliament
Domestication[edit | edit source]
Ruddocks can be domesticated, however it takes considerable wealth and a very short time. Giving a Ruddock a plush job will make it very easy to train. Ruddocks are very easy to please, and given encouragement, will learn to better control it's language, focusing it's inflammatory power on it's master's political opponents
Keeping it here in case it gets deleted =(