User:MalcomExcrement
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| This honkey has been promoted to the rank of Queen's Reader. | |
| Due to their site-topping talents in reading, all other chores formerly assigned to them have been rescinded. | |
| Unlike other ranks, this one is for life, and they will not be returning to their former tasks anytime soon. | |
| If you were hoping they would reply to a message, sorry to disappoint, | |
| but such a menial task is currently outside their job description. |