User:LordKaT/advice

LordKaT's Words Of Wisdom

• Don't walk backwards in the rain under three elephants unless theres two mice and a titanium spork hidden in your vest.
• Three times pie is umptwelve.
• It takes seventeen years to properly cook a left-handed beaver which has not been marinated properly.
• Thirty-two sailors are just too many, make sure you have at most thirty-one, with a spare in your car trunk.
• Never, under any circumstances, untie a llama foaming at the mouth unless you're prepared to do battle with a fire hydrant.
• Always tip an armed delivery boy.
• Never tip an unarmed delivery boy.
• The foot grows bigger in the left hand of a naked walrus.
• Are you really reading this? Stop it.
• There are three missing fingers on each of your amputated mice.
• Running forwards while trying to look backwards will give you such a headache!
• Trying to untie your shoes while playing basketball is an easy way to lose a finger.
• Don't try to dunk that basketball, you're white.
• Reading this list will case you to shoot blood out of your ears.
• There's no way to reset your computer without a hammer and shotgun.
• The best cure for any problem is three cases of whiskey and a fully-loaded AK-47.
• Magazines are not to be confused with reading material.
• Shooting yourself with a bullet can be very detrimental to your health, unless you're trying to find an afterlife.
• There is no god, there is only the almighty walrus.
• Peeing on an electric fence is bad.