User:Lollipop/HowTo:Be hated by your kids

Damn! Your kids really piss you off don't they? Always whining for this, whining for that. Going on the computer too long. It's wrong how they act. So don't just whine and bitch and moan like you always do. Don't talk whiny shit talk to your wife saying,"I don't know what to do, I...I...don't know!" Well know you know. Or you will know. Just read the goddamn article and stop reading this intro. I said don't read the intro!

Rip their little comic books too.

Step 1: Aggrivate them

When they're doing their homework, or going on the computer, or even masturbating, scare them. Go BOO! Make them cry. Make them despise you. Yeah, like that. Laugh when they cry.

Step 2: Act Like You Don't Care

When one of the little buggers kids asks you to fix something, ignore them. Say, "tough" to them. Then get a beer and splash it in their face and watch them whine that it tastes bad. That's the best part of it. No wait, it's the self satisfaction.

Step 3: Don't Take Them Places

Fuck those assholes! Why should you take them places? Then they won't hate you. When they ask to go to the park, or Wal-Mart, or even to Disney World, say "NO". Just smile and say "NO". No matter how hard they plead and beg and go "pretty please", laugh at them and say, "YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN' KIDDING ME KIDS! NOW GO AWAY!"

Step 4: Physically Abuse them

Hit them so ha

No. Then you'd not only be hated by your kids, but by everyone else.

Step 4.5: Act forgetful

Let's say it was one of their birthdays and they cry that you didn't give them a present, answer "Oh, is it your birthday? Uhhh...nobody cares, kid." Then proceed to eat salami and onion sandwiches and burp at your kid's friends (if they have any). Tears galore.

Do this and they'll hate you for sure.

What Now

Keep doing the 5 4 steps I told you to do, but wait until they start doing it to you. Then your wife will leave you, and you'll be on the street eating leftover McDonald's hamburgers. Better than having irritating kids, right?