User:Ljlego/HC

		This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory of which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence. The black helicopters are not ^on their way.

The information contained in this article is dangerous.

Do not try this at home, kids; go over to a friend's house.

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Description

Heavy Classical is a genre that is five buh-million times better than Classical music. Heavy Classical is the same as Soft rock because classical musicians are emo. It was created in the London underground music scene of 1657, is Britclassical, and was never as well known as Britpop. To everyone who lost hope in the most moro-- er...awesome genre in the history of mankind, Heavy Classical is just Heavy Metal guitarists with classical instruments. And now for something completely different. Beethoven died of heroin overdose and not old age. The genre is defined by its classical music that is really loud; obviously, as previous stated, it sounds like goats. It is incredibly emotional, more so than regular emotional music classical music. (Hint: Think Pirates of the Carribean.)

Sub Genres

Heavy Classical, because it was invented in the late 20th century due to drunk experimental classical composers, has genres blatantly ripped off of Heavy Metal. Wow, Heavy Classical is so unoriginal you could write pages! For the sake of this article, there is Thrash Classical, Death Classical, Emo Classical (do not comment on its redundancy), Funk Classical, and various other "authentic" genres. See Heavy metal for details. The n00bs at Wikipedia also have an article: click Heavy Metal. Warning! Information may be factual; do not view if you have a sense of humor! More information on Heavy Metal.

Famous Artists/Bands

Beethoven was among the first Heavy Classical artists. Aliens murdered him to save the holy cheese they guarded. (His music nearly destroyed it). The aliens were, in fact, Matthew Bellamy and the other two members of Muse. They were all aliens! Bellamy and his crew became a Heavy Classical band along with Nirven, Radoifash, Modes Mous, Loot, Marlyn Mansion, Osis, and many more! They all have obscure hard to remember names and they all are blatant rip-off of a bunch of semi-talented artists. BE WARNED: SOME BANDS ARE SO BA...And now for something completely different. Muse is the biggest name in this genre, so here's a dose of misinformation on them: Muse! If you want to verify this information on Heavy Classical: Heavy Classical