User:Kq1/Jewfish
“That is illogical”
“MY! What large noses they have”
“We have reason to believe that North Korea may be have in its presence a jewfish”
“Jewfish are homos, but then again so am I”
| "Jewfish" | |
|---|---|
 (John Newford, a prominent researcher on jewfish, managed to finish off a sketch of one moments before being maimed and eaten alive. Many thanks John!) | |
| Scientific classification | |
| Kingdom | "Arctic Sea" |
| Phylum | Hogara |
| Class | Fish |
| Order | Carnivora |
| Family | Swinidae |
| Genus | Greedius |
| Species | Pigidae |
| Binomial name | |
| Greedius pigidae | |
| Specifications | |
| Primary armament | Devil's Tongue |
| Secondary armament | Hypnotism |
| Power supply | Satanic |
| Health | 100 |
| Mana | 2400 |
| Strength | +10 |
| Intelligence | +2500 |
| Weight | 120 kg |
| Length | 5-6 feet |
| Special attack | Jew Slime |
| Conservation status | |
| Endangered | |
The origin of the jewfish is unknown. Some say it is a result of Nazi genetic experimentation. Others believe it is the work of Satan himself.
Diet[edit | edit source]
The jewfish's diet mainly consists of the souls of innocent sea-creatures. Sea horses, dolphins, baby otters, manatees, and various others all fall prey to the jaws of this vicious creature. This has lead to a massive decline in the population of sea-creatures. A top White House official explains: "It is not overfishing or environmental destruction that is destroying our sea life. By conducting a mass investigation with only the best scientists, I have much evidence to conclude that it is in fact the jewfish that is destroying our sea's most precious animals."
In some cases, it has been also known to suck the happiness out of small children and Vietnam amputees for nourishment. MAN...YOU WHO WRITE THIS STUFF ARE SICK IN YOUR SOUL!
Location[edit | edit source]
Jewfish only live in the deepest and darkest parts of the ocean. They have also been found in the company of Joseph Stalin, Richard Nixon, and Osama Bin Laden.
YOU WHO WRITE THIS GARBAGE - WHY DON'T Y0U SPEND YOUR WRITING "SKILLS" FOR SOMETHING POSITIVE IN THIS WORLD INSTEAD OF DAMAGING YOUR SOUL BY HURTING OTHERS WHO YOU DON'T KNOW, WHO NEVER HURT YOU.
Behavior and Social Interaction[edit | edit source]
IT IS CLEAR THAT THE WRITER
OF THIS INSULT IS A PERSON WHO NEVER GAVE A DIME TO CHARITY HIMSELF/HERSELF. AS A POINT OF FACT, IF YOU CHECK OUT ON THE INTERNET PEOPLE OF THE WORLD WHO CONTRIBUTE GOODNESS (IN MUSIC,SCIENCE, MEDICINE INVENTIONS, ENTERTAINMENT, ETC, YOU WILL FIND A HUGE NUMBER OF JEWS LISTED. AND CHECK OUT NOBEL PRIZES & SEE THE MANY JEWS LISTED AS WINNERS..... EXCUSE ME FOR ASKING, BUT WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID ANY GOOD FOR ANYONE?!
RESPONSE: I ONCE HELPED AN OLD LADY HALF WAY ACROSS THE ROAD.
Lifestyle[edit | edit source]
Jewfish sleep on a vast hoard of treasure that they get from destroying castles and preying on innocent peasents. They are extremely intelligent and can often be found doing rich people's taxes. AND IF YOU BELIEVE THIS RIDICULOUS STUFF, YOU ARE GOING TO REAP THE REWARDS OF YOUR STUPIDITY BY CRASHING IN YOUR CAREER AND RELATIONSHIPS. HOW SAD FOR YOU.
Reproduction[edit | edit source]
For the most part, jewfish remain anti-social for most of their lives. But in order to ensure the survival of its species, jewfish mate every 50 years in a time known as Fon Parr. After this period, the female jewfish often puts up with a period of abuse before finally leaving its mate. IT IS VERY INTERESTING TO FIND THAT MANY CHRISTIAN WOMEN MARRY JEWISH MEN BECAUSE THEY CONSIDER THEM TO BE THE BEST HUSBANDS, DEVOTED AND KIND....I KNOW FIRSTHAND! AND Baby jewfish that have fully matured proceed to tear themselves out of their mother's body and consume her remains. WELL, THERE IS ONE THING THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE WRITER OF THIS STUFF AND THAT IS YOU SEEM TO THRIVE ON VIOLENT THOUGHTS. HOW SAD AND PAINFUL IT MUST BE TO LIVE LIKE THAT!!! To: People who write this sort of garbage.....do you know what karma is.....next lifetime you will become a Jew and get to know what it feels like to be a decent, giving human being all your life... and your reward is to get trashed by the likes of you.
RESPONSE: I would hate to be reborn as a jewfish.
Purposes[edit | edit source]
The Medicine Cabinet[edit | edit source]
The jewfish's stomach is hazardous and often used in the manufacturing of biological weapons. But, the lungs of the jewfish are known for curing genital warts. MAN, YOU THE WRITER ARE A SICK PUPPY, NO, ACTUALLY A SICK JUNKYARD DOG !!! Its nose also has been coveted as a narcotic and can be crushed into a fine powder. The result is highly psychedelic. One man describes his experience using the nose of a jewfish: "I was like at some guy's crash pad man and he had like this new thing he got off some Puerto Rican dude. It was one hell of a trip yo."
The Kitchen[edit | edit source]
Fried Jewfish
- Carefully remove of any hazardous organs (The heart, stomach, and genital region)
- Dip in vegetable oil and cover in lard
- Set your deep-fryer to 450
- Place the jewfish in the basket and fry for 30 seconds
- Serve with soysauce and sake
(Want a healthier meal? Try not eating so much crap)
YOU, WHO WROTE THIS, IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOUR DIET STINKS...WHICH IS PROBABLY WHY YOU HAVE STINKIN' THINKIN' ! TRY DINING ON FRUIT, VEGGIES, RICE, CHICKEN.....AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, GIVE UP THE BOOZE....YOU SOUND LIKE AN ADVANCED ALCOHOLIC!
Look, I'm guessing you're a woman cause you sound like a bitch. This is a joke website. If you can't laugh at jews, niggers, chinks, gooks, aligator bait, heebs, punjabs, towel heads and people with explosive personalities then I'm not even gunna ask for tits, just GTFO!
The Bedroom[edit | edit source]
In some parts of the world, the skin of the jewfish has been used for natural male enhancement. IT IS EASY TO SEE THAT YOUR LITTLE JOKE IS FRAUGHT WITH PREJUDICE BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF SO YOU NEED TO FIND A SCAPEGOAT TO MAKE FUN OF.....YOU MOST LIKELY ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE MADE FUN OF YOURSELF & SO YOU NEED TO DO IT DO SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A SO-CALLED MAN. HOW PATHETIC. DO SOMETHING GOOD IN THE WORLD INSTEAD ...AND YOU WILL THEN FEEL LIKE A GENUINE MAN.
Capture[edit | edit source]
The search for this elusive creature carries on, but recently many in the Bush administration have reason to believe it can be in any of these locations: Iraq, Iran, North Korea, and/or Hell ....YOU ARE A SICK DUDE WRITING ALL THIS MATERIAL.....GROW UP AND DO SOMETHING GOOD IN THE WORLD INSTEAD!. Quoting a White House top official whose name we cannot give out, ""Those jewfish have got to be somewhere!"