User:Kippy/Magic Winkle Juice
History of[edit | edit source]
The fabled juice of the Winkles. In 1964, a man had just bought himself a new toaster. It was a good toaster that could hold at least 17 pieces of breg, (or maybe more...........). In any case, this toaster just so happened to be the source of all power in the universe as it contained the formula for breg force 13! The man was astounded, it was the first time something had ever happened in his life. This would change everything. The properties of breg force 13 were however quite disturbing. It lead to the discovery of the magical land of Winkle and its various subordinate clauses.
Unfortunately the mysterious yet fascinating land of Winkle contained the small yet powerful creatures known as Winglers, and their evil (or possibly good) enemies, the Woodle-Puffs; but that is an unrelated incident that shall not be mentioned. Anyway the point is the winglers were vicious little buggers that attack in large swarms, (much like that book Prey by Michael Crichton). The best form of defence found is discharging several BFG rounds into the swarm to cause a distraction then exentrificating the area immediately.
Where to get this juice[edit | edit source]
The magical winkle juice can be extracted from the plant of winklantation, simply be the process of oxidising the toxic juices secreted by the plant into a weak alkaline solution the forming a reversible reaction using the Haber process to produce ammonia and magic winkle juice.
Uses for Magic Winkle Juice[edit | edit source]
The magical winkle juice can be used to do pretty much anything. The most useful thing is to use this strange and sacred juice to artificially produce a song so depressing that anyone who listens to it will be first filled with a murderous rage that causes the listener to brutally maim or kill the nearest living thing. After about 15 minutes the listener will die of depression. It can be depressing to watch so it is advised you wear earmuffs made of wingler hide to block out the horrific screaming.
Winglers[edit | edit source]
The winglers know no mercy, they only have the power to destroy. Your best and only chance of survival is to pull the sword from the stone, no wait thats a different load of made-up bullshit. Find the toaster and creat breg force 13, this is the only way to stop them, (alternatively you could spray them with magic winkle juice). There were also three other points to be made, rendition is bad, drugs are good and Jesus probably wore a fucking turban! Stick that in your motherfucking Christian hash pipes and smoke it!
Figure 3.1458209503754946y39574984562957621843 c
The Wingler
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