User:Ketchup Boss/John Lennon
John "The God" Lennon (born October 8, 1940, died December 12, 1980) was a former member of the most famous rock band ever, The Beatles. He is best known for being handsome at first, but then turning into a still handsome but weird looking freak during the late sixties and early seventies. He is also known for marrying Yoko Ono, a Japanese musician and drug addict.
Early life[edit | edit source]
John was born to Julia and Freddie Lennon on October 8th, 1940 in Liverpool, England. As a child, Lennon was smart and got straight A's until graduation. He was also known for being a prankster, which was on the first episode of Supernanny ever (the original British version). He started to play the guitar in the late fifties when he first listened to Elvis Presley. He quickly learned,and played at many gigs along with Pete Worst (one of the many considered fifth Beatles). He soon formed The Beatles after dropping out of college to focus more on music, drugs, and Avant-Garde shit.
Formation of the Beatles[edit | edit source]
Lennon soon met Paul "Babyface" McCartney at an Britain art university. The two started to hang out,and both flunked out of college. He soon met Ringo "Big Nose" Starr and George Harrison. Their first single,"Love Me Doo Doo" was released in July 1962. Soon in 1963 they released "I Want to Grab Your Penis" and "She Hates You" on Crapitol Records. 1964 was their breakthrough year, as John released many hit singles with "A Hard Gay's Night", "Ticket to Ride my Dick", and "I Don't Feel Fine." The band's 1965 released "Hell!" made many people think that they worshipped Satan. 1966 brought "Paperback Masturbater","Eleanor Nigga",and"Yellow Giant Dildo". All singles were also released on Crapitol. "Sgt. Pooper's Lonely Fart's Club Shit" was their most sucessful and critically acclaimed album with songs like "When I'm Constipated" and "With a Little Help From my Toliet". Many critics loved its inappropiate sense of humor, and it was banned. 1968 brought "The White KKK Album" with most of the album's songs being written by Lennon, like "Fucked in the U.S.S.R." and of course "Revolution WTF?" along with more crazy novelty tunes. "Crappy Road" and "Let it Be" were critical sucess with "Octopussy's Garden", "Something Smells", and "Cum Together." "Let it Be" was overrated though. The others songs on that album were BORING. Seriously. He allegedly wrote the 1966 hit song "69 Beers" but this was not true. A shitty Mexican garage rock band Question Mark and the Mysterians did.
Solo career[edit | edit source]
Lennon soon married Ono,and released "Imagine" in 1971, which predicted that Osama Bin Laden would bomb the Twin Towers. Isn't that fucked up? The wife and husband duo posed naked on their 1975 album cover for "Let it Be Naked." The album sucked Avant-Garde dick. "Double Pervertcy" was released in 1980 with the hit single "Lesbian". Sadly that was it. Read below to see what an asshole named Mark David Chapman did to him. Wow. Just wow.
The murder[edit | edit source]
Mark David Chapman,a "fan" of Lennon shot and killed Lennon unexpectedly out of nowhere while eating a bad of pork rinds. He was soon arrested on December 12th, 1980, a day after the murder. Chapman soon grew some more weight,and was eventually electrocuted by Ringo Starr. What a pussy.
Legacy[edit | edit source]
Lennon is remembered for his sick mind and guitar playing skills. Just imagine all of the Uncyclopedians John.
