User:Joe9320/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Dear Princess Celestria,

This is my first draft of the Uncyclopedia article that I am writing to submit to the Uncyclomedia Corporation for publishing. The entire letter that I am writing for you is also incorporated in the article, and it is about this television show on some network that only broadcasts in the good old United States called The Hub. That show is called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. And how is friendship magical? Anyway, The Hub is not available outside American because one, Americans see their country as the only one in the world, and two, Hasbro's deal with Time Warner is set in stone since the 1980's. But anyway, I think I had been rambling too much about the Hub and will get into the whole article that I am writing about. It's right down below after this letter.

Yours truly,

Twilight Sparkle.

About me, Twilight Sparkle

I am Twilight Sparkle. But my name wasn't always Twilight Sparkle. Back in the 1980's when there are wavy hair for the girls and mullets for the boys, cool American muscle cars like the Chevrolet Corvette, the Cold War is at its peak, and lots of toys get their own 30-minute commercial. One of them was Transformers, my favorite show, and the other, My Little Pony. My name back then, was Twilight, and I got a cool hairstyle resembling some sort of a mullet. Then I changed my name to Twilight Twinkle in 2003, and then by 2010, when I was casted for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. And that's when I got my name: Twilight Sparkle.

Now, you think that the reason I changed my name is to avoid being associated with the Twilight saga. My opinion on the Twilight series? Well, the only comment here is that it's too "Mary Sue" for my taste, as the main character has all the qualities of the author; besides, I could even say that Twilight is only Stephanie Meyer's wet fantasies on paper, and is not worth reading. So anyway, I'll go on and talk about myself.

Twilight sparkle picture. Note the horn

Yes, I'm a pony. But I have something big, purple and hard on my face. I'm a Unicorn!

Most of the time I explore, searching for the Elements of Harmony with my friend Spike. Spike is a dragon and he's really cute. Sometimes he would do such crazy shit.

The Mane Six

Mane Six, hahahaha. I loved that. Mane Six, Fig 2, I can think of any pun and visualize it in my head. Those puns are too corny however.

Apart from myself, there are other five ponies in Ponyville part of the Mane Six. There's this Pegasus who loves every cute critter in the woods named Fluttershy. When I met her, she did not even fucking talk to me, and took a few steps back when I asked her name. She's such a shy bitch, mind you. But the aspect of her that I like the most was an ability to be gentle and kind to others, especially towards animals. Fluttershy made friends with Spike very quickly when we left and quickly rushed to him. They had a really long conversation when they first met. Since then she became less shy towards me, but still has a love for all living things. Except at one point when she fought and killed a bear doing the time I was insane, and unnerved a dragon for us. And also that time when she struck Rarity down for turning her into a jerk.

Then there's Pinkie Pie. She makes cupcakes

Applejack came from a family that grew apples, and most of them are named after a species of apple or food made mostly of apples, such as Granny Smith, Apple Pie, Strudel and Big Macintosh.

Rainbow Dash, who is another Pegasus, is really tomboyish, sports those long rainbow stripes and was obsessed with speed. At first, I thought that she is some sort of a butch lesbian because of her boyish shenanigans and attitude towards everybody, mostly because her rainbow mane gives it away and also because she almost kissed Applejack once. I remember a time when there was metric shit-ton of controversy, with its flames fanned by the feminists. They labeled her as "homophobic, racist, sexist, and smart-shaming". She ran off somewhere being chased by an angry mob of women until Lauren Faust stood aside and stopped the whole madness. Nice one, Faust. They did miss the whole point. She may be boyish in attitude, but that doesn't make her a lesbian.

Last but not least we have Rarity. She's into fashion. In a big way. One day she wish to become a fashion designer, fashion blogger and owner of a department store where they sell the make up, clothes and handbags.

Bronies

In the 1980's, a woman wanted the whole My Little Pony sets to be unisex; that is, for boys and girls, and not for purposes of sex as you might think. But Hasbro employees wanted it to be only for girls. For some time My Little Pony was seen as "for girls", and there was a small male fan base compared to the female fan base. Fast forward to 2010, and the male fan base grew exponentially compared to the geometric growth of the female fan base. This is due to the show. Those fanboys call themselves "bronies" (compare to "pegasisters" for the fangirls). That woman's finally happy about that fact. Some of the bronies I met are nice. There was a time when a brony told me about that time when a cashier stared at him awkwardly as he purchased one of the My Little Pony sets.

Of course, then there are real, sick, sick, disgusting perverts who just lust over these plastic horses and draw sick pornographic images of all of my friends having orgies with each other, including myself. One time, Spike came across a crude drawing of Fluttershy. Of course, such rumours spread very quickly across Equestria and the next day, Fluttershy went off crying in the forest because she was called "Futashy". If I recall, she hid in one of the bushes with a bunch of cute woodland critters. Then again, just because a male likes ponies, doesn't make him either a pervert, a manchild with a neckbeard, or gay.

Bronies are now everywhere wherever I go. Once I went to a convention called BronyCon which is dedicated to everything My Little Pony.

I also want you to visit the following websites, Princess Celestria

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