User:Jocke Pirat/Welcome
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LISTEN UP, PUNK![edit | edit source]
You've just registered on the most dysfunctional encyclopedia in the world, and it's capable of blowing your head clean off. And you better ask yourself "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do you punk? Considering that you're not being chased by a half naked man with a butcher knife I suggest that you are.
We've got a few rules that you need to follow before you edit. I suggest you read them, because the last two guys that didn't follow them couldn't be identified by the coroner --- couldn't tell which leg went into which body. Honestly it made me almost puke a little bit in the back of my mouth.
So:
- Read the Beginner's Guide. I've got no time to break a new recruit. Besides, the last recruit I got is still in the hospital with a bullet wound in his chest, and the one before that is pushing up daisies. So I suggest you read this instead about how to do stuff on Uncyclopedia.
- Instead of sitting on your ass all day in your dean's office, punk, I suggest you read "How to be funny and not just stupid". That way you won't have to warm seats in two offices.
- Instead of getting your shit deleted, try it out in the Sandbox first, and then make it in your userspace (Make the title of your article "User:Jocke Pirat/Welcome/Name of your article here") second.
- Make your punk-ass a userpage, so we know what you made and who you are. Making your John Hancock nice and pretty would be nice, too.
- Need more help, jackass? Well try to ask in the Help forum. And the mayors here don't cave in, so you better read what you need to read, punk.
- Still Need Help? Get yourself adopted. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page. Get a good writer to break you.
Good luck. You're going to need it.