User:Its that guy/The Chuck Norris-Bogan War

The Chuck Norris-Bogan War is a conflict that began during 1999 and still continues to this day through covert ops. it began due to the invasion of the bogan kind into Brisbane, Australia and the establishment of the well known Bogan stronghold of Logan.

In The Beginning

In 1999, a place south west of Brisbane was overflowing with Bogans, many were breeding like rabbits and the population could not be contained. The place (now known as Ipswich) could not hold the population of 500000000+ mullet wearing Bogans and the "residents" of Ipswich wanted to leave and infect the world. Starting with Australia, the bogans began to try and get through the giant Bogan fences put in place. They failed miserably and went back to their home. then as if by accident, a transport of VB to cairns crashed in ipswich, the Bogans quickly disposed of the driver and took "the mysterious substance" and began studying it and reproducing it. This single weapon would be the major breakthrough in bogan weaponry. the next year the bogans began another assault on Brisbane. They were able to break through the bogan fence by shaking up their cans of VB and throwing them at the fence. they were then able to attack the city and defeat the pirate army stationed their by chucking empty cans at their heads.

this battle lasted for 2 years with no real winning combatant. the pirates usually were winning due to their better fighting but the Bogans would just get up after drinking VB. the Australian government sent John Howard to negotiate with the ferals but his armored convoy was ambushed somewhere in central business district. he survived but lost his hair and in his haste, pasted some hair on his eyebrows. after endless fighting, the Bogans had set up a permanent camp called Logan (rhymes with Bogan) and infected all the former residents of Logan, turning them into drunken Morons. Knowing they could not defeat this menace alone and that their numbers were dwindling the pirates seeked help.

Chuck Norris Gets Involved

with Brisbane quickly turning into a Bogan apocalypse, the pirate army knew that only one person could defeat these feral people... Chuck Norris. The pirates took control of the main council building (can someone please edit "the main council building" to what it really is called) and used the Norris signal to summon him. chuck Norris, quickly saw the light from Australia and flew down. the pirates explained their predicament but Chuck was still pissed off by the fact he flew all the way down to a stupid country and missed out on a threesome and refused to help. the pirates called him a pussy witch pissed him off even more. he decided to prove that he could kick anyone's ass and began to help.

The First Battle Of Inner Brisbane

with the help of Chuck Norris the remaining remnants of the pirate army's morale was boosted and they began fighting the Bogans again. Chuck Norris began fighting them, round house kicking every Bogan in sight. The pirates fought valiantly but were eventually surrounded and killed despite their superior fighting skills. Chuck Norris killed almost every Bogan in the city, Nothing was left standing. unfortunately the Bogans had drunk a ton of VB before hand and their bodies began to reanimate. the Bogans Chuck had supposedly killed returned to fighting form in almost a matter of seconds. the mass of Bogans surrounded Chuck Norris and Ganged up on him 1000000000 to 1. Chuck Norris defeated wave after wave of Bogans but they kept coming back to life. Chuck used the Kamehameha technique knocking them dead for a short time while Chuck ran off so he could regain his energy

After regrouping at the suburbs the survivors of the pirate army and Chuck Norris came up with a plan, they were to request the aid of Ninjas to help the struggling Pirates while chuck Norris would find their supply of VB and roundhouse Kick it. in about a month the Ninjas had massed at Brisbane and were preparing to retake the city. Chuck Norris ran a small covert operation of 3 Ninjas and himself in Ipswich. after battling a large force of sober Bogans, the team found the crashed truck of VB. they waited for a while and watched bogans carry crates of VB from the truck to a laboratory of Yobbos (super Bogans!!) who were mass producing it. they were adding very highly complicated machines stocked full of VB and adding it to regular Bogans asses. upon this discovery the team charged the complex and killed the Bogans. the Yobbo master however didn't go down so easily amd killed the three ninjas. Chuck Norris was able to round house kick the Yobbo sending him into the machine making the VB, causing a massive explosion rivaling Hiroshima with Chuck Norris only just getting away due to pure awesomeness. with their main source of power defeated, the Bogans retreated to Ipswich and Logan, preparing for their next attack

Peace on the horizon

with their main weapon gone, the Bogans had become much more docile and UN talks with them began to commence with them about how much waffles or pancakes they were allowed within a month. the remaining pirates began to rebuild the great Bogan fence around the perimeter of the city. Chuck Norris went back to America to try reclaim that threesome of his but he would not be gone of long...