User:HELPME/Welcome
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Hello, HELPME, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, you can use the door over there, and we will log your IP and have you killed. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
- The noob bible
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends, enemies, or homosexual learning instructors.
- How to be funny and not just stupid - HUGELY important, this helps you understand what sucks as humor and what doesn't.
If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try this stuff:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue. You can also ask at the help forum, but make sure you read this first.
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. You can also make a signature at User:HELPME/signature or User:HELPME/sig, but make sure you put {{SUBST:Nosubst|<your signature's title here>|}} in your user preferences and check the box that says "Custom signature".
To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:HELPME/Totally cool article title) so you can edit it at your leisure, and at your own pace. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and has a shiny coat and healthy teeth. If you're not done, put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. Keep in mind that a construction tag doesn't protect your article from deletion necessarily- it must have SOME content. If you abandon these articles for over 7 days, they'll be deleted. You can ask the deleted admin politely to restore them in your userspace. Never restore deleted material without checking with an admin FIRST.
You can also do Pee Reviews, but read the guidelines first.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask an administrator on their talk page, or do nothing and get pointed and laughed at while you helplessly shuffle about. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave one of them a message on their talk page. It is your choice who, and no one will decide for you. Again, welcome!
Phew, you're done! This message is lengthy, but it covers the bases you need to know for being an Uncyclopedian. Have fun!