User:Goodwood/Mobility scooter
~ The pilot of a mobility scooter, giving orders
The mobility scooter, also known as a mini landship, is the preferred conveyance of the land whale, which enables them to retain body size and shape while going about the business of finding more bacon-filled doughnuts and pickled wolf spleen to shove into their mouths, all without having to worry about burning precious calories. Designed specifically for this purpose back when your dad was fighting the Communists, the average scooter is built with wight tolerances up to and including one thousand sixty-six (1066) pounds, with recent models breaking the ton barrier. However, this hefty payload comes at a cost; the average scooter can only reach about three to five miles per hour, depending on the size of the obeast perched atop it like some human vacuum cleaner at a cupcake-dropping contest.