Weather forecasting
“Tomorrow, umm, let's see.. Sunny, or shower.. Hmmm... Shower!”
“Weather forecasting is like an apple, sometime it's red, sometime's is very red. It actually depends..”
Weather forecasting is a branch subject of Yummiology subject, which is a subject to determine the character, hunger, bladder, social status (and other The Sims related) of the sky, or skies. It is very important to not mention only one sky, because there are many skies up there, depending on where one's located. We got the skies that we see at night, which lets us see fake pictures of the moon and the stars, which was credited by the artist Carl Sagen. For example, people in Australia may have four skies, while people in Canada may not have a sky whatsoever. But their sky was given by the British in the 1700s and they are under control of the Royal Sky. So maybe they don't have any weather forecast. But it if it is, they have it like this: Cold eh? I don't know for sure. Just watch some Canadian shows. But then if they don't have any weather forecast, there is no point of reading this article any further, so maybe I'll setup the first weather forecast station in Canada.
It has been known that ancient people took the skies and weather into account in their daily life. Actually people nowadays do that too. People tend to stay at home when Miss Katrina stops by, and in other circumstances, some people do calculus when it is raining. In the end, nobody cares.
History[edit | edit source]
Weather forecasting has been performed more than 6.5 billion light years ago, by the first human alive. Plakatua, a man from Yrkrink (now Kyrgystan) predicted the sun will rise at 4:00 am, by calculating the number of leaves on a tree. Did he guess it right? No, he did not. But look at the bright side, he made a small step for him, but a giant step for humankind.
By the early 1920s, scientists from Mexico predicted the time when the next rain will come. A different approach from the Yrkrink man was taken, by abusing a 8-year old child. They said if the child cries, they saw rain on the child's eyes. Thus rain will come.
Remember that every person has a different way to predict the weather.
Presentation[edit | edit source]
After the weathermen or weatherwomen gathered all the weatherstuff, they really need to tell people about the data they have gathered. Like that story in the 15th century. Two men travelled to Mauritius from The United States only to predict the next month's weather forecast. They did really well, they got hundreds of paperwork, dozens of recordings, but in the end no one could ever present the information. Meh, nobody cares.
The basic thing and probably the most common one of presenting a weather forecast is through the news, preferably 6pm news, or some sort of evening news. Morning news is also okay, because usually there is no good TV show in the morning. Well, anything but midday news, or some stupid breaking news. Because at that time, we probably are wathing some more entertaining show like The Ed Sullivan Show, 48 (television show), The Cosby Show or some random Talk show. Actually breaking news are alright, as long as the presenter is cute.
Here are some possible ways to present the weather forecast.
Weather report on TV[edit | edit source]
The most important thing is the reader, or the weatherman/woman. For this topic, let's look at an example of a less-credible weatherman, and how can he improves the show. Ladies and gentlemen, help me bring out the incredible Mr. Jimmy Welsh. (*inaudible whispers across the studio*)
To understand the concept of weather forecasting, we need the master, and the master is here to help us. He is the great weather guru, Richard Nixon. Here is our interview with him
Uncyclopedia : Good day Mr. Richard Nixon, how are you going these days?
Richard : Well, well, pretty good, just doing some stuff behind the backyard.
Uncyclopedia : Alright, let's get to the main point, what do you think about this image?
Richard : My eyes! My eyes!! My beautiful eyes!!!
Uncyclopedia : Mr. Nixon, please grow up.
Richard : Alright alright, my apologies. I think he could have improved the show by bringing some other stuff.
Uncyclopedia : And the stuff is..?
Richard : You know, stuff like p***, ****k** and probably ***t* a*** ******l
Uncyclopedia : Oh, okay, so see ya Mr Richard Nixon.
Richard : Thank you for this interview, I really need it.
Uncyclopedia : Alright we understand.
Newspaper[edit | edit source]
Another way to present the weather information is through newspaper, or newspapers. Quite different from weather news, newspaper only present the information in 2D graphics, notably by the strange icons. The weather report usually presented on the second page, just up there in the top left corner. But it really depends, if some n00bs bombed something, the news report may be moved to the third page, or even they removed it completely. That is why we have bombers so much. Then a rhetorical question appears. Why the hell we should read some bombings while we need to know tomorrow's weather forecast?
There are also some newspapers that dedicate themself to weather forecasting. The idea of these kind of newspaper is that the whole newspaper consists of weather reports, from across the globe. You name it, Pakistan, India, Canada, New Zealand, even The United States. The advantage of this newspaper is that it presents the weather report in a very detailed data. For example,
27 January 2007 Rain, then sunny a bit, slight warm, maybe then some showers, then sunny, take off your clotches, still sunny, sunny, still, sunny, then when night comes, it'll be cold, very cold. Put jumper on.
Here is one example of news report on a newspaper. The newspaper is a newspaper for the deaf people, so they can hear it.
Uses[edit | edit source]
Weather forecasting is very important for many companies and people. I could have made a list of millions of organisations who desperately need weather forecast, but I just don't want to do it. Here are some examples of it.
Military[edit | edit source]
Oh yes, military groups are in need of weather forecast. The reason? It is simple, because no army wants his/her army suit got wet. During a battle, armies need a non-stop communication with a weatherman, so they can judge the best move they can make. To do so, they have their own weather forecast system. Because military stuff is very complex, the presence of these forecasters are hardly known, although some can still be mentioned. For instance, Naval Caster, Forceter (a joint cooperation between Air Fore and Forecaster). The selection of bombs needed is also determined by the weather. They might not want to use electric gun when it's raining.