User:Epynephrin/The Taming of the Loompa

A famous play written by The Shakesbeatles. The story was set in England in the year 1466, and featured a midget family whose daughters were attendng High School. The eldest daughter simply refused to go out and see men, and the younger was a Social butterfly, and was being "courted" by every man who came within a two-mile radius.

Major Characters

Alice Glodson

The "Loompa" of the story. Considered by some to be a symbol of the future wave of feminism. She was a Dwarf, but she also liked the freaky stuff. The orange paint cans were merely hinted at, but there is no painting sequence within the play. The authors were well aware that this would excite some viewers, but may well have offended others--thus it was an intentional decision.

Jane Glodson

The more "social" of the Glodson sisters. She was the more beautiful of the pair, but also the youngest. Her father aims to keep her under control, but has a hard time doing so. The eventual decision is to make her stay in the house as long as her disturbing sister also remains there.

Senor Glodson

The father of the two girls. His wife died in a tragic gardening accident, and he now has to raise the daughters on his own. He is relatively clueless, and his stature makes this job all the more difficult. In the end, he concedes to the brillian plot mentioned below, partly at the inspiration of his deceased wife.

The Ghost of Mrs. Glodson

She appears in a style that has become classic motif of the authors: The Deus Ex Machina. In a Surprise Ending, it is revealed that she is in fact the next-door neighbor, and that she would have gotten away with it, were it not for those pesky kids--and their dog.

Plot

		Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Harry's butler knew all along, the chick in The Crying Game is a dude, Titus Andronicus bakes Tamora's sons in a pie and feeds them to her, Spike Spiegel dies, Richard Hatch wins, Tony Montana dies in a raid on his mansion, Deckard is a Replicant, too, the Bride's real name is Beatrix Kiddo, and her daughter is alive, Dr. Strangelove can actually walk (and everybody dies), Lowrie fulfills the wish list, but dies, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

The problem was that the father did not approve. The mother didn't have as much to say on the topic as she was a minor character in the play (did we mention that she was dead?), only appearing in Shakespeare's infinitely famous "Ouija, or did you move it?" scene. The younger daughter is told that she may not marry until the eldest has finally moved out, innocently around the time that a mysteriously rebellious, yet lovable man is introduced to "The Loompa"s life.

The final act of the play took place at the high school prom, where someone comes forth and pays off the lovable man for dating the eldest daughter, and there's a vomit-worthy, cute scene where he professes her undying love for her father (the Surprise Ending).

Some have called the 2006 remake of the play a travesty, because it combines that story with elements of horror fiction, and is entitled "10 Undead Things I Made For You". The director, also the creative mind behind My Fair Zombie has now quit film and lives quietly in his home in Transylvania with his wife and 17 children.