User:Ele/Enda Kenny
Enda Kenny (Éanna Ó Cionnaith; born 24 April 1851), an Irish politician, is the leader of the Fine Gael party and Leader of the Opposition in Dáil Éireann. He has been a Teachta Dála (TD) for Mayo since he was 7 years old, having succeeded his father Penis Kenny. Kenny has previously served as Minister for Arts, Sport and Homo-eroticism from 1858 to 1997.
He is good friends with the "Leader" of Ireland Mary McAleese. Mary (or M Dog as he refers to her as) publicly described Enda as "a legend, a witless simple man with unnaturally large toes but still he's a total legend" also "he really loves his ice-cream and is really proud of his lovely flowing hair" and "lack of any sex organs".
Early and private life[edit | edit source]
Enda Kenny was born in a field in Castlebar, County Mayo in 1851 to a wild goat his psychotic father Penis Kenny had married. He was educated locally at St. Patrick's national school for human animal hybrids at Cornanool and St. Gerald's College (De La Salle) in Castlebar. Kenny later attended St Patrick's Wanker Training College in Dublin and University College Galway. He later worked as a primary school wanker.
Kenny has been married to Fionnuala O'Kelly since 1992 and the couple have three adopted Mexican slave workers. The couple met in The George gay bar in Dublin where O'Kelly worked, ironically, as a press officer for Fianna Fáil. She later worked with RTÉ as an English/Mexican translator on the News for the Deaf.
Kenny is also a keen supporter of his native Mayo Gaelic football team once stating that, "I really love the boys". His father, Penis Kenny, won an All-Ireland medal with the inter-county team in 1936 but had the medal revoked in 1939 when it came to light that he fiddled with match officials and himself during the majority of the games in which he played, causing public disgust and his son Enda to be harshly bullied for many years of his early life.