User:Eclecticus/MySubPage/Lefties

Lefties

The word, lefty, or lefties, in the plural, refers to:

1. A left-handed person.

1. A person who uses the left hand with greater skill than the right; And refered sometimes to as a "southpaw."

There is a battle going on since the beginning of times between the left and the right side.

Wise men and great visionaries living in the present time, tell us that it will be the cause of a Third, and great world war.

Left Handed, Underground Groups

At the present time there are rumours about the existence of an underground group known as the "Dark Lefties" who are completely dedicated to the Lefties cause.

Their leader is considered to be highly dangerous, and he is the great mastermind behind a secret plan, (now not so secret) that looks for ways to convince and to recruit brainwashable people, including right handed people who aren't completely "right" on their heads, to take their side on their plans to conquer the entire world and make it go completely "Left."

The "Dark Lefties" consider the creation and founding of their underground group, dedicated uniquely to promote the lefties interests, one of their greatest and most memorable feats. And rumours tells us that one of their greatests leaders, urges all who are reading this entry in the uncyclopedia page, to join him, by enlisting themselves to The "Dark Lefties" underground army and help them against the opression from the right handed crazy people.

The "Dark Lefties" Recruiting Message

Soon their superior, and genetically evolved, left handling traits, far more advanced than those of their [refering to all the right handed, crazy people, out there] clumsy, counterpart pals, will be ending conquering the entire earth. Right and true! The time is coming...the end of the right handed crazy people is very near...

Their existence [refering to right handed crazy people] will only be remembered in old history books, and in stories, that will still be told to children, about their incredible clumsiness and unbelievable lack of sophistication... :)

PS. - If you are by any chance right handed and you hate it, then, be a traitor. Their message ends urging you to stop thinking logically, and to go and join their cause... Please, Click here [link coming soon] to join The "Dark Lefties" cause...

Kind regards,

[Leader of the "Dark Lefties" underground group]

The "Dark Lefties" views on Ambidextrous people

"True Lefties are not Ambidextrous, and should not claim to be so..." "We, the "Dark Lefties" read somewhere under a few particular topics that Hitler was Left Handed, but the truth is that he was probably Ambidextrous, seeing that there are people out there claiming that: "In many pictures involving Adolf Hitler writing, he is noted writing with his right hand."

"And that": "Hitler was not left-handed. He always signed documents with his right hand."

"If anyone claims to be a Lefty, when he or she is in fact Ambidextrous, he is playing tricks and fooling others and himself, seeing that he is not a true Lefty, but an accident of nature, and a link in the evolution, occuring from right handed crazy people [the most primitive, clumsy, and unsophisticated group of all] to left handed people [the last evolutionary step where a great and most incredible group of a few selected people, ended aquiring the most wonderful trait, that is, to be left handed: a sign of a high level of dexterity, at least when using their left hand, something that right handed crazy people can only dream of..."

"Ambidexterous people claiming to be left handed are not true Lefties...but Lefties understand why they're claiming to be a Lefty and why they wish to be so..."

"Lefties rule!"

-- The "Dark Lefties"

Psychological Profile Of the "Dark Lefties" Underground Group's Secret Leaders

Leader of the "Dark Lefties" underground group]

INTP/INTJ and Enneagram type 5: you can find more about it if you keep reading using only your left eye. Please, throw the right eye away, and your loyalty to the Lefties will be proved once and for all and behind any kind of doubt.

You will be rewarded with a free ticket to the next brainwashing session at the super secret, "Dark Lefties" underground quarters.

One of their past leaders, whom has been replaced by their present one, for refusing to cut off his right hand, using his own left, is known as Eclecticus.

Eclecticus is found right on the top of the right handed crazy people's, most dangerous criminal's dark list, for crimes commited against their right handed interests and society...

Last Sight of Eclecticus

Eclecticus, A past leader of the "Dark Lefties" underground group, was last seen on 13/10/2009, Lefties most special day, and found comemorating, by brainwashing right handed and Ambidexterous people at his super secret hiding place... [now not so secret]

According to the words of corageous and brave right - handers, his last words before escaping were:

"No, no, no! The right crazies caught me, commemorating in a left handling way!!!" [1] [2]

Why was Eclecticus replaced as leader of the "Dark Lefties" underground group?

The "Dark Lefties" underground group replaced Eclecticus and selected their present leading Lefty as their leader, because unlike Eclecticus, he proved his complete loyalty and integrity to the lefties cause by cutting off his own right hand, using his [now even more special] left one, and by changing his name to something ending with: Left! It is more than proved that their leader is a lefty, and not someone who is "right" in the head...

Left Handling

This phrase, when used, it is a reference to any activity seeking to promote or uphold the Left Handed people's interests, and left rights of being.

Includes commemorating lefties day, taking place on day 13/10/every year, and making life difficult to anyone claiming to be a Right Hander, and oposing the lefties interests.

Uncyclopedia entry written completely with a left hand. It took quiet some time!!!

--Eclecticus 07:00, 13 August 2009