User:Dark Atom 5
Dark Atom 5 is a sleazy bastard who wastes his time creating pages on Uncyclopedia, making crap videos that nobody ever watches on Youtube, and battling with his hopeless addiction to crap music. His story is a long complicated and true one, that is a lie and doesn't exist or make sense. But unlike a game of cards it is a cake and it all begins with a well known friend.
Dark Atom 5 's Profile[edit | edit source]
Species: Homosapien. Age: 15 Years Young. Sex: None. Deodorant Brand: Coles Home Brand. Job: Mc Donald's Bitch. Ninja Rank: Genin. Arch Nemesis: Nuclear Power. Measurments: My Wee Wee can stretch 50 gum gums because I ate the cursed fruit. Pirate Crew: The Jacked Anal Pirates. Place of Origin: A Woman's Inside.
The Beginning ~ The Many Main Characters of Various Loved & Respected Teenage Drama's Have A Sexy Keg Party With A Keg Full of Orange Juice & Tainted Muffins[edit | edit source]
Harry was sitting at home playing with his 'wand.' It was the only thing that could distract him from the revolting smell streaming from his Owl Hedwig Von Dumptruck who kept leaving Harry presents in his cage. Harry's lived with his Sexy Aunt & Uncle, Vernon & Petunia Focker, whom would not let Harry clean his cage because they were always too busy playing crazy sex games. Harry hid in his room because he was too embarrassed to leave, the Fockers were great at keeping secrets but when people offered them pretzels they'd go on and on for hours about how Harry had lost his virginity to their obese, fifty year old, blind, deaf, mute, male housekeeper Jordan. Then they paraded around town showing everyone his foreskin which was still attached to his baby maker. Harry sighed, he was bored, what could he do in a room alone with nothing but his hands and a computer, with super broadband internet connection, no parental blockades and a high resolution plasma screen? What was he supposed to do? Card Tricks! Suddenly Harry heard a knock at the door, the Fockers could get it. The person at the door kept knocking for hours, no one was answering, so Harry decided to do it himself. He went downstairs and opened the door and was immediately struck by a metal pipe. "Kill my girl friend you son of bitch Volchok" Ryan Atwood growled as he started breaking Harry's face. Harry didn't even know this guy but he knew he was going to die so he decided to piss the boy off as much as possible. "Yeah that was hot, even hotter than when I spanked her erotically before her death" Harry laughed, vommiting large amounts of blood over the boy. "You fucked up my shirt" Ryan roared. "I'd be more worried about your health, I've got aids and now you've got it too buddy" Harry said truthfully. "You sick fuck" Ryan said knocking Harry's lights out with his metal pipe.
Harry awoke to a sharp pain in his ass. As he opened his eyes he noticed two men in cowboy outfits running away from him, zipping up their flys in the process. Despite his severe amount of blood loss, his brain damage and tumor, and the pain in his ass and the fact that his back felt like it had been broken Harry felt pretty good. Harry examined his surroundings and soon realised he was at a sleazy teenage party. So obviously he decided to look for some people to trade Yu-Gi-Oh! cards with. After a particular sucker refused to trade his three god cards for Harry's kuriboh Harry punched him in the crouch and took his cards. He then procedded to hang out with the kids from One Tree Hill. After that Harry took liberty in spiking the punch, with a football. To which everyone started kicking the shit out of him for. Thats when Ryan yelled out "The keg is full of orange juice and tainted muffins." Everyone turned to Harry "What the hell I was asleep this entire time, just ask the Brokeback Brothers." Everyone at the party began jumping Harry finally breaking all his limbs and mailing his injured body to Konoha.
The leader of the village was an old woman, previously it had been an old man. Some people thought it stupid to have the strongest most assassinable ninja in the village to be someone old and defenseless as football teams could break in and hurt them all. The real reason for the old leaders was, they were easily expandable and non important, it didn't matter if they died. The current leader Granny Tsunade as she was called by someone who wasn't even related to her, opened the package to see the rotting, but still living corpse of Harry Potter.
The Ninjaz Crib ~ Orochimaru and/or Some Guy Who Must Not Be Named drive dune buggies to impress the babes and score a blockbuster film[edit | edit source]
"I'm going to eat this Ramen, believe it!" Naruto Uzumaki said stupidly spit and froth dripping from his mouth. Naruto's comrades Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke whom was looking all sulky and emo, were all attempting to kill Naruto for his consistent use of the words believe it. "Raikiri!" Kakshi roared impaling Naruto's seat as he stood up. "I'm going to be the greatest Hokage and then everyone will respect me Believe it!" Naruto said spraying flecks of Ramen in everyone's face. Lord Voldemort threw a dagger from behind a corner fortunately Naruto had ducked toi pick up a quarter and the knife merely struck Sasuke, Great just more for him to whine and bitch about.
"Fuck I missed" Voldemort cursed as he turned to Orochiumaru who was trying to grab Voldemort's nuts. "Hey hey" Voldemort said shoving him. "I just want some nuts" Orochimaru said sensually. "Oh" Voldemort said handing him a packet of peanuts. "Man I love nuts" Orochimaru moaned as he had sex with the packet of nuts. "Now we must Avada Kedavra some people" Voldemort vomitted as he pulled a gun with a bang flag in it from his mouth. "Awesome" Orochimaru said as he hopped into a dune buggy "Hop in dude!" "There's only one seat in that dune buggy" Voldemort said picking his nose angrily. "Sit on my lap" Orochimaru sneered. "Fine" Voldemort agreed and the two raced down the street ready to commit Evil!
"Where am I?" Harry groaned as he stared at the woman in front of him. "Stare at my rack will you" She roared and with one swift punch Harry was knocked through a wall onto the street, her punch had broken his skull, she was one tough bitch. "Dune buggy" Voldemort wooted as he let diarreha spray from his backside onto pedestrians. "Looks like trouble!" Harry said momentarily becoming Captain Obvious. "Believe it!" Naruto said showing up. "Avada Kedavra" Harry said in disgust killing Naruto. "I'm dead Believe it!" Naruto choked as his torso crawled away.
Feeling quite proud of himself Harry started performing illegal acts of evilness on a doughnut. "Oh look it can barely fit through the hole" Harry said sheepishly as the doughnut crumbled at the size of the object he had put in the hole. "My fingers are just so big" Harry burped. And with that Harry summoned Chuck Noris who totally annihilated the Dune Buggy with like a single punch.
"Our movie deal is ruined" Orochimaru shrieked feminately as he ran off into the trees Voldmort following close behind. "Let's get a beer" Chuck Noris grinned as he flexed his muscles causing buildings on either side of him to explode. "Okay" Harry agreed, paralysed by fear.
Chuck Noris & Harry Potter run into Chewbacca and Hans Solo and join them aboard the Going Merry where they find a Monkey, a torso, a theif with an addiction to oranges, pinochhio, Brock from Pokemon,rudolph, some chick with lots of hands and Frankinstein[edit | edit source]
To Be Continued Soon...
Mid-boss The "bad guy" from the first episode of Naruto he was planning to rape all children with his homo jutsu. He eventually went insane from the humiliation of being the ONLY character to have ever been immediately pwned by Swirly. He also later consumed tiger blood and went on to transform into Tony the tiger. Advertised sugared corn flakes in the hope of luring small children into his playhouse.
~ 4Kids on One Piece
“I love it! When can we rape it, and how hard?”
See Also For Better Understanding Of My Article and Characters.
And Just For Fun Check Out These Bad Boys.
- Cloud Strife For Awesomeness.
- Envy For a list of people killed by Envy.
- Riku For Emoness.