User:Crazy Pigeon Lady/Lolita
“Grandma?”
Lolita, or "Lolis", are a clan of European aristocrat time travelers from the late 1700s. A glitch in their time travel programming landed the entire clan in 21st century Japan instead of 18th century France. They still have not noticed.
The Lolitas press on, carrying out their mission to take over the world and cover it in lace, bows, ruffles, and candy.
The tribes of the Lolita clan:[edit | edit source]
Sweet Lolita
Soon after the Japan landing, the Lolita clan split into two major tribes, the Sweet Lolita and the Gothic Lolita. Sweet Lolitas are easily earmarked by their pastel colours and innocent, smiling faces. Do not be fooled. They will subvert your will by trickery instead of fright. Their leaders, the Shirololi, wear nothing but blinding white. Many a naive bystander has found herself dripping in lace only moments after looking away from a Shirololi to locate a pair of sunglasses.
- Interesting Fact - The Sweet Lolita tribe continues friendly relations with the Country Lolita splinter tribe.
- Interesting Fact - The Sweet Lolita diet consists mainly of angel cake, spun sugar, and cotton balls. Therefore, the Sweet Lolita tribe has a high turnover rate as old members are blown away in large gusts of wind.
Gothic Lolita
Once allies, the Gothic Lolita tribe is now the sworn enemy of the Sweet Lolitas, and they are "not the same thing as Sweet Lolita or regular goth so learn the difference, thank you very much and have a nice day." They aim to frighten you with their appearances--be it their makeup, the size of their shoes, or even the threat of being stuffed into one of their suitcase-purses. Their leaders, the Kurololi, dress entirely in black and are entirely undaunted by stains. However, if confronted, a Gothic Lolita will respect your bravery and become your friend.
- Interesting Fact - The Gothic Lolita tribe remains allied with the Punk splinter tribe.
- Interesting Fact - The Gothic Lolita dine solely on okonomiyaki topped with shredded bat meat and garnished with a bow from a Sweet Lolita.
- Interesting Fact - One of the greatest leaders of Gothic Lolita Mana, is actually a cleverly-disguised man in drag
Other Tribes - Besides the two main tribes, a number of smaller Lolita groups have splintered away:
- Hime Lolita - Also known as the Lolita Royalty, they consider themselves the leaders of the Lolita, but in fact their numbers are few. However, they are three times richer than the average Sweet or Gothic Lolita.
- Sailor Lolita - Lolita in training, these girls attend the secret Lolita Academy to learn the Lolita ways. In limbo between tribes, they have not yet chosen between Sweet and Gothic. It is wisest to avoid them...you never know, they may be Sweets in training. Their uniforms imitate those of young Victorian children (just throw in some ultra poof).
- Country Lolita - These girls are not involved in the battle between Sweet in Gothic for life in the French countryside tending to rose gardens whilst wearing Lolita dresses most resemblant of Victorian childrens' clothing (like the Sailors and Classics) and straw hats adorned with ribbons and flowers. They are considered safe to approach, but tread with caution.
- Classic Lolita - These few Lolita have remained the same after the initial split of the clans. They spend much of their time under attack by the Sweets and Gothics to pick a style. The other clans view this as free entertainment, and rumor says that the Sweets are building a stadium to turn this event into an arena sport.
- Punk Lolita - A handful of Americans sneaked aboard the original time-travel ship with the Europeans. Closely allied with the Gothics, they form the brunt of the Lolita army. They attack viciously and without provocation with weapons which they claim as "jewelry" to get them onto airplanes. Give the Punks wide berth.
- Waloli - A handful of Japanese hired by the original European crew to operate the time-travel device. They, along with the Qiloli, are the only ones who have noticed the time-travel glitch and are keeping a secret. In their frilly kimono, they continue to develop Lolita weapons, technology, and fashions.
- Qiloli - A handful of Chinese who built the time-travel device for the original European crew. Along with the Waloli, they keep the time-travel glitch a secret. Distinguished by their mandarin collars, frog buttons, and bao hairstyles, they build everything that the Waloli design.
- Gurololi - Those who were not on the original time-travel flight and have since been forcibly converted by the Punk Lolita army. Often still bleeding from the encounter, they are the living reminder that outsiders cannot get involved in this battle and expect to get away.
- Aristocrat or Kodona - The men of the Lolita tribe, they were converted after the Lolita landed, and outsiders often confuse them with the female Lolita. However, they are kept on leashes solely for the purpose of reproduction and looking handsome.
- Erololi - Escaped from Vladimir Nabokov's harem, these girls have maintained their tribe as a secret network by infiltrating the others. Some say their time in imprisonment caused them to lose their common sense, making them easily identifiable by the wearing of their undergarments over their clothes. (However, since 17th-century undergarments resemble today's outerwear, this description is rarely helpful.) The Erololi network often supplies spies and scouts for the Punk army, as this tribe can most easily infiltrate goth clubs and costume shops.
- Italoli or Cosplay Lolita - Deranged outsiders who have stumbled upon the Lolita clan and attempted to join. Fooled into supplication by the Sweets they are not considered a true Lolita tribe. (Though the Punks do manage to recruit the bulk of the Gurololi's ranks from their numbers.) Usually seen in flight from the Punk Lolita army or a giant robot built by the Waloli.
- Otaloli AKA True Cosplay Lolita - Anime/manga fanatics, aspies, or shut-ins who like to dress as cute as their cartoon idols. Many dare to freely use the name of Lolita in careless abandon while dressing up in outrageous maid, nurse, Evangelion, Haruhi, and even Gundam Lolita outfits– greatly angering the higher up Lolita tribes. Unlike the Italoli, they're too busy with their own new Japanese cartoon fandom tribes to even care about belonging to a true Lolita order. Often stalked in the bath by Sweet Lolitas.