User:Contestant/HowTo:Fuck it up

For most people, fucking it up is a piece of cake. These people, known colloquially as "upfuckers," specialize in the art of determining a situation and destroying it. Unfortunately, not all of us can be as skilled as they. For those who lack the necessary ability, we proudly present how you yourself can fuck it up.

Analyzing Your Surroudings: Can I Fuck It Up?

Not every situation can be fucked up. You'll need to carefully assess the situation and determine whether you can effectively and efficiently fuck it up.

Where am I?

If you're in the wrong place, fucking it up may not be beneficial. For example, if you are currently at the 6th Annual Fuck It Up Convention, or Fupcon, trying to fuck it up may actually be counter-productive; Fupcons 1 through 5 were all fucked up by the organizers, as would be expected. Your fuck up attempt may actually counteract the fuck up attempts of the organizers, and would cause the events to proceed un-fucked-up. Essentially, you would be fucking up your own fuck up. That's fucked up.

What's happening?

Does this situation require fucking up? It could be that it's fucked up enough already, or fucked up beyond all recognition. It could be that your attempt at fucking it up could go unnoticed in the sea of fuckuppery that has already transpired. If you want your fuck ups to be at their utmost effectiveness, make sure that whatever is happening around you is not fucked up. yet.

Who's around?

“If one fucks up in a forest, and no one is around to see, have they fucked up?”

– China on Ancient Chinese proverb

If you're all alone, don't try to fuck it up unless you're into sadomasochistic fuckuppery, which is a level of fucked up in and of itself. Fucking up is a group experience, that must be shared with others. Don't deprive your fellow man of the potential hilarity and/or sheer genius of your fuck up.

Determining Your Action: How Can I Fuck It Up?

There are certain key elements to a fuck up that cannot be ignored or omitted.

Extraditing From The Chaos: How Can I Stop Fucking It Up?

After any given fuck up, you need to ensure that you can remove yourself from the situation while maintaining the fuck up. There are a variety of ways to perform this.