User:Contestant/HowTo:Become an Internet Celebrity

So. You want to be known throughout these things we call the internets. The blogosphere. The netotubes. The tubeoblogosphereonets. Pulling down the big eDollars, getting all the FBI agents posing as teenage girls, grabbing cred from here to Digg and back. It's not easy, but damn if it ain't cheesy. Here's your guide to becoming an internet celebrity.

First: Pick your medium

You can make your name through a number of methods. Play to your strengths.

• Music. Amateur singer-songwriters can make it big if they don't suck. Do you suck? Can you disguise the fact that you suck by gratuitously stealing from other singer-songwriters? Can you at least put together some compelling bullshit? Beautiful. Roll with it.
• Movies. You know that copy of Microsoft Movie Maker? What have you done with that lately? Fuck-all, that's what. Change it. Grab anything that records anything and record everything. Your friends jumping off their skateboards, two stray dogs humping, an alien invasion that's just a strategically placed claw machine prize, whatever. Shoot it, post it on YouTube, slap your name on it five ways to Sunday.
• Stripping. Keep in mind that geeks are lonely, lonely people who have a slim chance of ever seeing breasts in their lifetime. If you've got tits, however insubstantial, you can get big assets. so to speak.