User:Citrusmirakel/Moneybags Malone's World Famous Money Making Machine Factory
Moneybags Malone's World Famous Money Making Machine Factory is located just outside Fort Wayne, Indiana, and was started by capitalist Pioneer Travis Cumfart, who changed his name to "Moneybags Malone" after marrying his childhood sweetheart, Jenevive Malone. The legacy of the Cumfart family would die that day. Thankfully, nobody cares.
A Dream[edit | edit source]
In his autobiography, Moneybags Malone's True And Exciting Best-Selling Tales of Chivalry and Success!, Malone claims that the idea for his factory came to him one night in a dream he had after drinking half a bottle of absynthe and fell asleep with The Cure's "Faith" set on repeat. Malone writes extensively about the details of his dream, which spans forty-five pages of the autobiography. However, none of that will be reproduced here because people talking about their dreams is really, really, really boring.
His dream now planted in his head, Malone's next step was to find financiers for his new project. However, this proved to be a trying process, as reports indicated that a money making machine factory was "inherently unprofitable", Malone was forced to pitch his second idea: TungstenDirect!, a company that ships tungsten directly to your home or office. In six months, TungstenDirect! was a financial juggernaut, making only seven dollars less in a fiscal year than Union Carbide, and with significantly fewer comissioned murders. Eventually, some of the finances would be siphoned into a dummy account set up for the money making machine factory. His accountants wouldn't notice for years.
