User:Captain gull/Alain Robert

Alain Robert

Alain Robert, a French phrase meaning 'Spiderman', is also the name of a Frenchman who is famous for climbing up the outside of tall buildings, not dissimilar to the fictitious comic-book hero Spiderman but without the requirement of shooting great wads of spooge from the palms of his hands. From the early age of 4 he has been scaling towering structures around the world using only his bare hands and no safety equipment, which has led many commentators to the belief that his balls are made of a very solid metallic alloy. To date, he has climbed to the summit of approximately 60,000 buildings in various countries, only to be arrested by the local police at the top on account of it being illegal in most states to peer through windows without first gaining written permission from the building manager. He was once sentenced to 30 years imprisonment in Japan, but escaped after only the first day when he climbed the wall of his cell. When the confused jailor couldn't see him in his cell and opened the door to search the room, Alain silently dropped down from the ceiling behind him and made his escape. To this day he is still a wanted man in Japan and avoids any travel to that country.

Career (if 'career' is the right word for getting into trouble monkeying around on the outside of tall buildings)

Alain's climbing exploits started at age 4 when his parents locked him out of the building of their 60th-floor apartment so that they could have some quiet-time together without the annoying little child disturbing them. So the precocious little boy decided to go round to his girlfriend's house instead, climbing up the drainpipe and into her second-storey bedroom window. Thus began his fascination with free-climbing.

Possible reasons why Alain Robert climbs buildings

1. To get to the top.
2. So he can spy on couples 'doing it' in their hotel rooms.
3. Better than another afternoon with the wife.