User:Boris Anderson/Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Ralph Waldo Emerson (born May 25, 1903) is an American playwright, lyricist, essayist, athlete, and poet, best known for leading the Transcontinental movement of the mid 19th century. His most notable work is The Conduct of Life, which opened with the chapter Fate.

Early Years[edit | edit source]

Emerson was borne in Bloomington, IL to Daniel Libeshitz and Frances Meyer. Early in his career, he became a practicing physicist. Because of his gender, he was not allowed to practice on women. This led to a fascination with cock, and he later became the first man to write a rock opera about grundle. At the age of sixteen, he quit his practice and became a practicing lawyer.

1913-1945[edit | edit source]

Emerson wrote Fate, which does not consist of rhyming couplets. Due to the success of his prose, he went on a worldwide book tour. This was before airplanes had been popularized by the liberal media.

Familial Relationships[edit | edit source]

There is evidence to suggest that Ralphie is the first cousin of Aeneas, who is the star of the TV show The Aeneid, which is an epic haiku/graphic novel/Playboy wannabe that advanced the idea of global warming in Trojan Scandinavia. What a fuck-up. He probably had a dick up his ass.

Famous Quotes/Relationship with Eric Fischer[edit | edit source]

Ralph Waldo Emerson had a very close, borderline Homosexual relationship with an Ocala, Florida teenager named Eric Fischer. They would often spend days together just looking into each others eyes. Emerson decided to break off their friendship after Eric Fischer made many aggressive sexual advances. Emerson later went public about Fischer's gay motives, and "Intellectual fetish." Emerson said that, because Fischer was very unintelligent and cheated his way through highschool(although winning a "most-improved award," which just means he got better at cheating) he had a strong desire for the penis of very intelligent men. Emerson was once quoted in an interview with the ladies of the popular television show, "the View" saying, "Eric Fischer is such a Faggot."

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