User:Blacklemon67/"Books Spew Radiation!" Several illiterate protesters cry
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25 June 2007
In Peru today, thousands of illiterate protesters claim that books spew out harmful radiation that will melt your eyes.
Claims[edit | edit source]
According to those crazies, books contain "Paper-M5R" a deadly chemical that sucks up water and makes your hands dry a little! Also, they say that the ink used are spread out so they read satanic messages that the protesters call words. The protester also say they have a grade school degree and have watced every movie on radiation (The Philadelphia project is their fave.)
Crowd Control[edit | edit source]
The Peruviatian navy swooped in two hours into the protest rally and used water cannons, pipe bombs and ink jet printers to scare, kill or drown the protesters. They also threw copies of harry potter into the crowd. Three people died, seven were injured, twenty are reported missing and thirty peed themselves. The navy's job wasn't over when thousands of harry potter fans came to steal the books.
Another rally?[edit | edit source]
Several inside cops report that another rally is planned for tomorrow so the navy is getting their pipe bombs and Stephen King novels ready.