User:Beast
“This quote was not said by me at all, but made up by the editor of this page”
Beast is a strange, untamed creature; a night dweller that comes out only to feed on rotting carcases. He has always enjoyed writing and especially about writing about himself. When he does write about himself, it is usually in the third person as this seems easier. He is tall and handsome, but not as tall, nor as handsome as the average guy so he struggles to find dates. This is also because he has standards set by living on the internet and expects all girls to be hot and easily coaxed into sex – sometimes without words. He aspires to one day control the world and also believes that the Earth is flat. His other goals include growing sideburns like Monkey Magic and renaming Israel “Hackistan.”
Beast currently works with smelly, tree hugging hippies for an environmental charity which he passionately supports and also is national champion and has held (and may still hold) world records in the sport of footbag. He hasn’t gone to university yet but most of his friends have now graduated so he feels like he’s some of the way there. He would like to study history, politics, physics, environmental science, chemistry or law but finds it difficult to choose which is the best or at least make him the most money.
Beast also enjoys reading books and drinking beer.
My Contributions[edit | edit source]
I wrote this whole article myself. I'm a real man now.