Hello hoes! This article is about Oscar Wilde, who is also known as me.
Me is not you, because me is me and you are you. You are not 'me' simply because I,(who is also me), wrote this not you, and I am not 'you' because I am Atomicdoom, which is spelled and means nothing like what 'you' does. Now to the important things about me,(who still isn't you). My name is Atomicdoom because radioactive things are awesome and are probably going to cause the eventual doom of Canada if the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't beat Iwalk,(or is it Iran?) to it. I am not homosexual (I am however, a bromosexual), a basement dweller, or Bill Clinton, so there is no reason to worry about me hacking your computer or sleeping with your wife/secretary. I am a Christian, an American, and a firm believer that cows cause at least half of the world's problems.
Don't believe me? What causes heart attacks and obesity? Eating too many cows. Global warming? Cow burps. Earthquakes? Organized simultaneous cow jumps. War? George W. Bush, who is working for the cows. All other problems are the work of Silent Bob. DOOM!