Asthebird (species)
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This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered. |
An Asthebird is a unique species of bird that mostly spends their time sitting around and staring at Uncyclopedia articles. Asthebirds often eat rather peculiar substances, including a mysterious white substance, some brown delicacies and many other stuff indescribable to man. Often times, asthebirds leave paperwork and assignments to the last minute, making them a terrible person for jobs and stuff, but they're birds so who cares anyways?
(Spoiler: I do.)
What is an asthebird?[edit | edit source]
An asthebird is consists of 3 parts: 80% serotonin, 15% YouTube and lastly, 5% self-consciousness. On a daily basis the large, bulky 80% of the bird will be emitted from the bird, likely in positive waves. When an asthebird is bored, the other 15% of the bird will appear, known as the YouTube section. The bird will binge watch YouTube videos of off the popular website YouTube, and will not stop until midnight.
AHAHAHAHA asthebird has taken over humanity
The final 5% of the bird is always shown; always released in tiny amounts usually unnoticeable to the naked eye. An asthebird will typically flee what they consider to be an embarrassing situation, however sometimes awkwardly laugh along to the *other* birds making fun of it.
Asthebirds survive on a diet of pure YouTube videos and lack of motivation. They can usually be seen flying around people's articles, using something called a noggin to collect ideas for their next article.
Also, did I mention that asthebirds are crappy article-writers?
December, 12th month, 24288 months since Christ's Birth[edit | edit source]
I read Fisher Price. I burst into tears.
It's just too well-written, I tell you.
Help me.[edit | edit source]
An asthebird wakes up from his slumber and realizes he's been infected with English+.
help me