Editing User:Another n00b/JNNN TV Anda/Homepage

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{{title|The Official JNNN TV Anda Homepage}}
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font family: Courier New; color: red"><u><font size="6">The Official JNNN TV Anda website</font></u></span></div> 

<font size="5">'''Homepage'''</font>

Welcome to '''JNNN TV Anda''', the official website of the channel that [[nobody cares|no one cares]] about!


<choose>
<option><font size="5">'''THIS PAGE IS ON PHASE III'''</font></option>
<option><font size="5">'''HAIL [[CTHULHU]]!'''</font></option>
<option><font size="5">'''LOVE [[Pokemon|POKEMON]]'''</font></option>
<option><font size="5">'''[[Illogicopedia|ILLOGICOPEDIA]] IS THE BEST'''</font></option>
<option><font size="5">'''MORE FAIR AND BALANCED THAN [[Fox "News"|FOX "NEWS"]]'''</font></option>
</choose>

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== Online News ==
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<font size="3">[[Paris Hilton]] launches [[Landover Baptist Church|Cum Dumpster perfume]]</font><br>
[[Image:Cdperfume.jpg|left|thumb|120px|Cum Dumpster Perfume]]
In Los Angeles, Paris Hilton released a new line of perfume, known as Cum Dumpster. The name suggests, that it smells like [[sperm]], [[diarrhoea]], [[balls]] and [[vomit]] all mixed up into something terrible. The release was so unsuccessful that it was later pulled off the shelves due to controversies surrounding it. One person said "This stuff is horrible and should be pulled off from the shelves!". But there are other people who liked it. One customer said: "It smells like sex! Seriously, it does." Meanwhile, the [[Pope]] today launched a campaign against Paris Hilton. The maker of this perfume, Durex, declined to comment, since their shares plummet by 200 points due to these controversies.
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<font size="3">[[Uncyclopedia is the worst]], says PM of Australia Kevin Rudd</font><br>
Recently, [[Kevin Rudd]] claimed that Uncyclopedia is the worst. In his statement when he was at his speech in [[Beijing]], [[China]], he said "[[Uncyclopedia is the worst]]. They put up articles of disgust, nonsense and rudeness. [[Fuck]] Uncyclopedia!" Then he went on to say how Uncyclopedia is bad. He also said "[[Illogicopedia]] is nonsensical, but much better than Uncyclopedia. Even [[Wikipedia]] doesn't have anything disgusting on it, despite articles about rude words and high amounts of double standards". As the people of JNNN TV Anda, we totally disagree on Mr Rudd's comments on Uncyclopedia. People should realise that this great website is a parody. Hail [[Cthulhu]]! We apologised to Mr Rudd for our comments.
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<font size="3">Controversy rises on JNNN TV Anda, with the clip "Get a New One" released</font><br>
In [[Youtube]], a wave of controversies happened when the song [[UnTunes:Get a New One|"Get a New One"]] was uploaded to Youtube, stirring hundreds of lawsuits, boycotts and legal threats on JNNN TV Anda. The main reason for this is that people didn't realise that it's a parody of [[Eminem]]'s song "Lose Yourself". What stupid bastards. 

"They complain a parody for stealing music? For God's sake, [["Weird Al" Yankovic]] wasn't complained on!", says the CEO of JNNN TV Anda. The video was removed from Youtube a day later.
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[[Image:TailsRouge.png|right|thumb|150px|Sonic Mania had now reached Uncyclopedia]]
<font size="3">[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic Fever]] Hits Uncyclopedia</font><br>
For the first time in 18 years since the first Sonic game came to the USA in 1991, Sonic Fever had spread far and wide, and the age of Sonic started. The Age of Sonic ran from 1993-1998. By 2001, Sonic is way past its time. People started to [[Nobody cares|not care]] about Sonic. Then in 2008, a surge in Sonic Mania started again, but this time, on the internet. It reached Uncyclopedia in 2009. [[Daily Mail|Experts]] in Uncyclopedia determined that Mario Fever will come next in two years, then [[Pokémon]] Fever in the next 3 years. Enzo Aquarius declined to comment, for he is too busy for an interview. JNNN TV Anda reporters imagined he'd probably have said something about [[Rouge the Bat]] being "hawt".
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<font size="3">[[Twilight|Twilight is the worst]]</font><br>
JNNN TV Anda has one thing to say about the book/film ''[[Twilight]]'' in three words: It sucked balls. At least the Pokémon series ain't that bad. Look, we even love Pokémon. I mean, 25% of JNNN TV Anda's employees loved Pokémon. And 1% loved Twilight. So, suck!

<font size="3">[[WWF|Earth Hour destroys Uncyclopedia]]</font><br>
Recently, JNNN TV Anda witnessed the destruction of Uncyclopedia. It was horrible! When New York City was destroyed completely, Tokyo, on the other hand, was exploded by an atomic bomb dropped by China. No one knows why, but the real culprit behind it is none other but the Premier Wen Jiabao of the PRC.

<font size="3">Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it?</font><br>
[[Image:Unsoc.png|right|thumb|150px|UNSOC logo]]
It has been about a year and a half since [[Uncyclopedia]]'s once shining usergroup network stopped operating and became extinct. As ever in such circumstances, conspiracy theories have quickly sprung up to explain how this could have happened. Some say that when {{u|Chronarion}} left Uncyclopedia to focus on another project, he left it to the [[Wikia]] staff to do all the patrolling, which caused Uncyclopedia's domain name to be changed in October 2008, and the user groups were left to rot with no activity, like the Hittites did when they destroyed their own city and left. Others say that [[User:Jocke Pirat/Unsoc|UNSOC]] killed off every other usergroup, from the [[User:High Gen. Grue/GrueArmy|Grue Army]] to [[User:Villahj Ideeut/UNATO|UNATO]], and had a monopoly on the usergroups. Whether the theories are true or not, the usergroups appear to have all but died.

In January 2009, {{u|Joe9320|archaeologists from the Philippines}} dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader {{u|Necropaxx}} was heard to observe ''"UNSOC has about {{number}} or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers"''.

The non-existent [[Cabal]] have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously.
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== On JNNN TV Anda ==
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===WHAT WE AXED===
*Joe's Prank Calls- known to be [[shit]] after [[the]] first episode of the second season. The rest of the episodes will be broadcast in mid-{{CURRENTYEAR}}, if only if we had [[OVER 9000|OVER 200]] viewers on the music on AudiHits.
*<s>[[YouTube Poop|JNNN Youtube Poop]]- we can't compete with [[YouTube Poop]], so we left that for greener pastures when we realised that a YouTube Poop clip contains different cartoons that are modified to be [[funny|stupid]] and [[stupid|funny]].</s> It's BACK! It came back from the dead! [[YouTube Poop|JNNN Youtube Poop]] is back!
*[[Big Brother]]- Big Brother isn't watching anybody. Not even [[you]]. In Soviet Russia, JNNN TV Anda watches '''[[you|YOU]]!!!'''

===BROADCASTING NOW===
<youtube>zVNOmdLLPqk</youtube>
<youtube>HfCYPIOB-Io</youtube>
<youtube>1B4FzzOmPxg</youtube>
<youtube>XTPHSf2vMwA</youtube>
<youtube>ZqRTtkEHrA4</youtube>
<youtube>7yYohAySKm4</youtube>
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== Horoscope ==
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[[Image:Ovariancancer.jpg|right|200px]]
From the Astrologist, Dr. [[Mario]] [[Mario]], Esq.
*[[Zodiac|Aries]]: YOU SUCK!
*[[Zodiac|Taurus]]: You will be brokenhearted once people think you're bullshit.
*[[Gemini]]: 
:For males: You got religion!
:For females: You had an [[orgy]] and ended up with twins.
*[[Cancer]]:
:Good news: You are powerful!
:Bad news: Sadly, [[you]] got cancer and [[AIDS]].
*[[Zodiac|Leo]]: You will have [[world domination]].
*[[Zodiac|Virgo]]: You're Like a [[Virgin]]- just for the very first time.
*[[Libra]]: You're a [[nagger]].
*[[Zodiac|Scorpio]]: You have a special gift in medical science. You're also a snake fucker.
*[[Zodiac|Sagittarius]]: You're now going to be a farmer, and in need of a wife.
*[[Zodiac|Capricorn]]: You are a retard, an idiot.
*[[Zodiac|Aquarius]]: You are now [[bisexual]].
*[[Zodiac|Pisces]]: You will have world [[domination]].

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== JNNN TV Anda Polls ==
[[Image:Ad.Joan Randall Agency.051508.Zion Oil.Oil For Israel Click Here For a Free Offer.125x200.jpg|right]]
<choose>
<option><poll>
Which TV Channel is better?
Illogicopedia TV
JNNN TV Anda
Youtube Poop
Uncyclopedia TV
</poll></option>
<option><poll>
Who would you vote for to become an admin in Uncyclopedia someday?
Hindleyite
Joe9320
Other
WTF are they?
We have enough of them, we don't need any more!
</poll></option>
<option><poll>
Do you want Uncyclomania?
Yes
No
</poll></option>
</choose>
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