User:Almightydevon/Internet company set to sell dignity!
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29 January 2010
An Internet start-up wants to sell you other peoples pride, allowing you to create different identities using the other persons look and identity.
Early press coverage has been uniformly positive. CNN.com's review says "Total dignity change may be on the horizon." The San Francisco Chronicle's article is titled "I think I'll choose a lap dancer named Trixie!" To BusinessWeek, it's a "A big boost in porn sales under my wifes name."
What's It About?[edit | edit source]
"Just think about..." Says one creator. "That asshole across the street is asking you to cut your lawn again because it makes the street look messy. Fuck him! How much does he go for online? Great. A few credit card details later and when you're online, you're now him! Now to download the kind of porn that makes the FBI bust down his door!"
The Past[edit | edit source]
The year was 2000, and the company was named Pornoticalixinix Systems (PXXXXX). Even by the standards of that era, it spent staggering sums of money on drink and prostitutes: PXXXXX brought in only $400,000 in 2001 in license revenue from its cool new online sensation 'pay to watch a fat guy get punched', while losing $24 million a year, according to documents filed for the original plan to punch a nun. The IPO was canceled two months later, and PXXXXX abandoned the idea of selling shock-value for a profit; under a new name it sells people to other people now.
The Present[edit | edit source]
And business is booming. With the experimental market being Japan, already half of Japan owns the other half and their souls to boot!
The Future[edit | edit source]
One Japanese fellow said "I just wish I could own Brad Pitt..." Look to the future Samurai, look to the future....
"Thank You ********************.com for giving me the chance to make my wife look like she's been cheating on me
~ Lu Xi Chan, Director at NancamAnime