Uncyclopedia talk:Pee Review/The Feline Fiasco

Thanks again mattlobster for reviewing this article.

I agree with most of the things you have said.

This was my first article ever, and it started off as a HowTo. I think that's why I kept the "listy" part there. I was thinking of removing it and keeping "Modern Day Cats" as the final section, or maybe creating a separate HowTo page and linking to it under a "See Also" section. You're right, it does kinda feel "banged on" and after writing the article, I always thought that it didn't quite belong there.

You said "...the last line of 'Pied Piper of Hamlin' could end ' thus starting a tradition of prioritising furry animals over their own off-spring.'..." That's a good idea, though how would you work it into the last line which currently reads:

"The women soon realized that cats were cheaper to feed, and made less noise than their own offspring, thus starting a tradition of keeping the furry animals, and taming them to be loving household pets."

I put the 'Chefs' Section where it was, because I wanted to create a link from the 'Early-days concept' into modern life. Personally I don't think it would flow so well going from the year 1248 to the Beatles. (also, to clear something up, it shows where cats had been banned in the last few lines of the chefs section)

Something that's been bugging me, is I think the "Modern Day Cats" section isn't written very well, and sort of stumbles around a bit with poor wording and sentence structure. Any input on this would be great.

Other than that, I think I did ok for my first article. Getting my head around the Uncyc formatting will come with more time and experience spent on these pages.

Thanks for the review, looking forward to more feedback! --Morgz789 06:26, October 8, 2009 (UTC)