Uncyclopedia talk:Pee Review/Lateral Thinking

Response to what was laughingly referred to as a PeeReview

Initial reactions

"Footnotes around here are okay, but 11? Bloody hell dude! "
"We don't need facts"
Good thing I didn't ask you to review "Six Hats"

I can appreciate good criticism, however there appears to have been a certain level of misunderstanding as to what the article I had written was about, or for. Predominantly this is a spork almost directly from Wikipedia - the structure of the article, the lack of "funny" images, etc. It is not a "nonsense" article, it is satire and parody.

I have done two "nonsense" pieces and to look back at them even five minutes after completion I cringed - they were tacky and baseline stupid, and not what I intend to do again. It was a collection of T&A jokes strung together loosely with a theme. The sort of work I'll never do again. It appears to be what I was expected to do with this. I could have thrown T&A jokes in here (I mean who could come up with a T&A joke when referring to a guy called "Edward de Bono") but that would not be parody.

Timely advice

I submitted my work for PeeReview for one reason only, I wanted constructive feedback. There were two pieces of "advice" I was given in there. The first was look at other articles, so I looked at "Thomas and FriendsThomas and Friends", got to the line where he is referring to as a "wank engine" and stopped. I then went back to HTBFANJS and re-read it, then I started to read the TAF again. So, one after the other, I'll go through HTBFANJS and TAF.

HTBFANJS

• The truth is usually funnier than nonsense. The funniest pages are those closest to the truth.

• Example: "Erik Estrada is an interstellar Cherzgon warrior who was aborted by his mother during the third week of pregnancy."

Stupid. Pointless drivel. Although possibly funny within the somewhat dry context of the page, without that contrast it lacks any kind of humor.

• Example: "Erik Estrada is an American (possibly Costa Rican) television actor, known for a successful career in the California Highway Patrol following his retirement from the television, or "prostitution" industry."

Funnier because it's closer to the truth. "CHiPS" was a real TV show. Blending fact with fiction, or blurring that line makes for better comedy. This is not a particularly hilarious line, but you get the idea.

TAF

The Scarily faced Thomas the Tank Engine patrols his stretch of line screaming in his Ringo Starr Voice at anyone attempting to cross at a point which isn't a signal. He kills anyone in his way, including his Obese Controller.

Despite giving everyone frozen Satanic stares, Thomas and His Friends still run regularly. Chinese brainwashing from The Railway Chairman has them thinking work is a privilege.

The show stars Alec Baldwin as Thomas, Richard Simmons as Percy, Ashlee Simpson as Emily, John Kerry as Diesel, George W. Bush as Toby, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Henry and Jackie Chan as Chairman Mao in the season finale.

HTBFANJS

• Moreover, simple, unadorned lists are rarely funny. You know the type: "List of people who can't spell" or "List of stupid things." Sometimes simple lists can be useful in launching a broader idea, as in US Presidents, but trying to be funny by listing "people who Oscar Wilde hates" isn't, well, funny. Or useful. If you must make a list, don't make it a quickie; at least spend some time fleshing it out, like in Worst 100 Movies of All Time.

TAF

- Henry the Grue Engine. He likes to hide in tunnels and eat grues in there.
- James the Obsessive-Compulsive Engine. Duncan started the rumour that he's queer, but this has yet to be confirmed in the TV series.
- Percy is Thomas' best friend. Charmingly naive, he is always asking questions like what Money, World Peace, Happiness and Fair Labour are, to which the Obese Controller replies, "Myths, Percy. Myths..."
- Gordon the F***** Huge Engine is 15 miles long when he pulls the hottest prostitute in the land, The Express. He shouts German swear words at the children making them cry. Recently he became Prime Minister of the Railway.
- Edward the Wise Ol' Engine. He knows the best clubs and who rides the easiest. He is a billion years old.
- Emily, Thomas's sister. Like most of the engines, Thomas thinks she's hott, and vice-versa. Emily usually avoids dating the other perverted freaks by dating Thomas. She's a real bossy bitch until something embarrassing happens to her.
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.
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- Sir Handel, who was knighted for reasons unclear.
- Rusty the Hermaphrodite Diesel
- Duncan, a pottymouth engine. He was banished for his hate speeches against the other oddly coloured engines.
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- Rheneas and the Dinosaur: The fued continues when Rheneas reanimates a dinosaur to attack Thomas' line..
- A Smooth Ride: Rusty is caught with Sir Handel - cheating on Peter Sam!!!
Season 4:
- Special Funnel: Peter Sam brags about his funnel being the biggest.
- Emily Knows Best: Emily decides to go back to Thomas, proving she doesn't know best. .
.
.

HTBFANJS

This is not the place to post stagnant jokes that have been repeated to death. They are no longer funny except to a few people and should never ever be posted here.

Common examples of stale jokes are:

• Your very own made-up version of Hitler, Darth _______, or Jesus.
• Russian Reversal "jokes".
• Killing Kenny or Ran Cossack
• Your mom, mother, momma, etc.
• Tedious pop culture references.
• Linking to AAAAAAAAA!
• Stating that Dora the Explorer, SpongeBob, Barney, (etc.) are evil

TAF

"1.2 The Hitler Years"

See also

• Darth Vader
• Satan
• Your dad

“In Soviet Russia...

"Oh my god! They killed Stepney! You bastards!"

Alec Baldwin... Richard Simmons... Ashlee Simpson... John Kerry... George W. Bush... Arnold Schwarzenegger... Jackie Chan... Chairman Mao... The Exorcist... PRINCE HARRY... Stevie Wonder... X-Files... The Burger King... Ikea...

AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA!: translation - Thomas joins Uncyclopedia

He kills anyone in his way, including his Obese Controller.

HTBFANJS

A picture is a perfect complement to a good joke. But only if it is well made.

TAF

HTBFANJS

Advice

• Remember rule one. If something is coherent, and closer to the truth, it is funnier than pure nonsense.
• Often, official, professional-sounding prose kicks the humor up a bit. Consider your tone as you write articles. Would an authoritarian, encyclopedic tone make this even better, or would slack-jawed drivel work best as its own sort of irony? Do outbursts work? Try different styles to see if it improves your content.
• Speeling adn, gramor?

TAF

In circa 200,000 BC, a stumpy fat man searched for ways to make money. He went into a scrapyard and used voodoo chants to have souls possess the ruined engines. Now, with their disturbingly happy faces, the engines puff across the Island of Sober, making products to get their controller rich off of. The idea of Communism was originally implimented (sic), but Gordon sought for higher control, which led to Lusts for Power from several other engines. Over the next 100000 years, the engines worked their buffers off,never meeting the technologic (sic) advances of the future as They Deliver Food Across the Island of Sober for thee Obesse (sic) Controller.

The second piece of advice

The second piece of advice I got was to become part of the adopt a n00b program. I have asked a couple of the administrators that I have the most respect for to adopt but unfortunately they are unavailable at the moment, so I'm waiting until someone comes free. After all I wouldn't want just any imbecile to become my mentor.

Although, Thomasfan666, if you ever want me to adopt you, I'm more than happy to do what I can. Pup