Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnScripts:Dungeons and Dragons: The Movie

My first article in a darn long time. I'd really appreciate ways to improve upon it, so thanks in advance.

Gas Pump 06:11, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I edited this article massively, and would like another review, if at all possible. Gas Pump 21:31, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Scratch that, my resubmit showed up in the pee review finally. Also: thanks for the review, Aethix. Gas Pump 21:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	9	Excellent. Not side-splitting hilarious, but pretty funny. Sort of bumpy. You have a good mix of humor offset by serious content, and that works. Could use a few more of those laugh-out-loud moments such as "That's the only massive thing you've got".
Concept:	10	A movie about a bunch of nerds playing dungeons and dragons, when some jock starts a party. That is golden.
Prose and formatting:	6	Your expansion (the actual movie) needs some serious editing. There are several obvious errors and those need to be fixed.
Images:	8	The FBI warning won you most of that score. The pictures of people outdoors don't really match the atmosphere of the movie, and they don't help the article that much. I recommend you replace them if you can and don't worry about it if you can't.
Miscellaneous:	9	Unlike most Uncyclopedia articles, this is actually enjoyable for more than just its laughs. It has a good plot, too.
Final Score:	42	It definitely could use some cleaning up. Just fix the English, and maybe change the lines so they don't sound as forced.
Reviewer:	Aethix ~ Talk\|Contributions\|My project 01:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

I revised my review. I watch all the pages I do reviews on so I can change my reviews as appropriate.

-- Aethix ~ Talk|Contributions|My project 02:38, 31 March 2009 (UTC)

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